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Creative Minority Reader

United Nations: Latin Lovers Conversation

According to the United Nations, there are many conversations occurring in Latin America similar to the one below:

Manuela: Jose, you are a very handsome man. I wish to make love to you.

Jose: Si, Manuela. I can feel your desire. You too are a very beautiful woman and I wish to make love to you as well.

Manuela: Jose, just for your informacion, you will be my ninth partner this year. Also, for further consideration, you may wish to know that I never even knew the name of my last three lovers.

Jose: Ay. Thank you Manuela for sharing this critical information. I too have been with many partners of which I have little recollection. This, however, does not dampen my desire for you.

Manuela: Bueno. Since this is our first date, I will let you pick the motel.

Jose: Gracias Manuela, that is very considerate.

Manuela: Jose, on the way to the motel, where we intend to fornicate, do you think that we should pick up some condoms as recommended by the United Nations to prevent the spread of AIDS?

Jose: ¡Ay, caramba! Manuela, do you not know that the Catholic Church prohibits the use of contraception? Manuela, my darling, it has been the consistent teaching of the Popes and the full Magisterium of the Church that the use of contraception is immoral and gravely sinful.

Manuela: Jose, I am aware of this fact. But I just thought that since we are ignoring the Church's consistent and explicit prohibition on sex outside of marriage that we need not adhere to other teachings as well.

Jose: I see your point my darling Manuela. No matter how ridiculous and inconsistent it may seem, the stigma attached to the use of contraception reinforced by the church, forces me to put my life and yours, not to mention the numerous sexual partners I intend to have after you, at risk. I have no choice. That is my final decision.

Manuela: Jose, I understand and respect your decision. I do, however, have one more question. What do we do if I get pregnant?

Jose: Oh, no problemo my little flower. We will just get an abortion.

Manuela: Come to me, my lover!

Yeah, well it sounds equally dumb when the United Nation says it.

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6 comments:

Woman said...

Hahahhaah! Very funny!

Sch├╝tz said...

Well done! You capture the true romance of the moment!

Pauli said...

Funny. I blogged on this same concept awhile back.

Sean Babu said...

Sadly, very funny. I've linked to this post.

All the best.

deb said...

I am writing on this subject on my own blog and I will include a link to your very funny take on this issue.

Lilder said...

FUNNY... sad, but funny.

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