A First Communion Nightmare
I need to tell you a story. It is not a nice story. It is a wee bit long but please see it through to the end.
On these pages I have often expressed my hope for the future of the Church. After a long time of heading in the wrong direction, I believe, I hope that we have finally begun the process of re-orientation. Tonight, however, I was reminded in no uncertain terms just how difficult this process is going to be. A majestic ship of this size headed into icy waters, upon finally recognizing the danger it is in, does not just turn on a dime.
Enough preamble, here is my story. My daughters first communion is today. Last night we had the rehearsal. Oy!
Upon arrival, a very nice lady explained to the children that the tabernacle has just been moved back to the center of the church this week and explained to the children that Jesus was present and what their proper disposition and behavior in the church should be. I was pleased. This was a short lived state.
The nice lady took the children downstairs to get them lined up and give them further instruction. She handed the microphone over to the DRE who clearly did not pay attention to the instructions about proper disposition before the tabernacle. For the fifteen minutes that the children were receiving instruction downstairs she berated the adults about what to do and not to do tomorrow. NO flash photography! NO tripods for video cameras! NO strollers in the aisles! NO talking to your children! NO waving! PIN your ribbons! NO flowers! and so on! I was struck that this is likely the first time I have heard a litany in our church and it was not what I expected. As bad as that was, it was the highlight of the evening.
After the children proceeded back into the church things took a turn for the worse. They had the children rehearse the first of the two songs that they will sing. I have already wiped the lyrics from my mind but suffice it to say that they didn't even rise to banal. Accompanying the song was a fair amount of well rehearsed hand motions. Ugh! I sat through it thinking well if that is the worst of it, I suppose I will live. That wasn't the worst of it.
The DRE then had them practice the Lord's prayer. I had a bad 70's flashback during this part of the rehearsal. I began to squirm and hold my head in my hands, inwardly pleading "please stop." Of course they taught all the children to hold hands during the prayer and during the "for the kingdom, the power, and the glory...", she instructed the children "Raise those hands HIGH! Get them up there! We do this this to remind ourselves that we are ONE!"
At this point I mumbled to myself, "We do this to remind ourselves how wonderful we are!" What I didn't know is that the family sitting behind me was having a jolly ol' time watching me squirm. Their 13 yr. old boy was sitting right behind me. After I let loose my snarky comment I heard his mother ask him what I said. He repeated it and they all giggled.
Then the children proceeded to the sanctuary right in front of the altar where they began a song that made the first little diddy seem like a Schubert composition. This song had more hand motions than a three day conference for the hearing impaired. Then they started a clappin'! Then they started a hootin' and hollerin' punching their fists Arsenio Hall style "Woo Woo! Jesus!" clap clap clap "Woo Woo! Jesus!"
"Oh No! Please make it stop!! Please" I pleaded inwardly while I squirmed ever more to the choir of giggles behind me. Finally, the song ended. Ah peace! Or so I thought.
"Ma'am, excuse me, but shouldn't the children be instructed to bow their heads before receiving communion?"
"Uh...Well...no one really does that! Hardly any of the adults tomorrow will do that."
"Perhaps," I said "but they are supposed to, right? Shouldn't we teach them correctly?"
She responded "Well, if that is your family custom, you can instruct your child at home to bow his or her head!"
"Ma'am, it is not my family custom. It is in the general instruction. When receiving standing, the communicant should bow their head as a sign of reverence. Again, it is not my family custom. It is what the church directs."
"Well, Ok. But the children have so much to remember already, this will be too much for them!"
"Ma'am. I have just watched you rehearse two songs with so many hand motions that it would take me a week to remember them. I watched you instruct the children during the Lord's prayer to hold hands and to raise them up. Way up. None of which they are supposed to do during the liturgy. Now the one thing that they should be instructed to do, a simple head bow, is too much for them to remember? With all due respect, Ma'am, that is nonsense."
She then barked at me loudly enough that all eyes in the church turned to us,"Sir, I am not going argue with you here in front of JESUS!"
"Ma'am, I am not arguing with you. This is what they are supposed to do. Teach them the right way!"
"FINE! Fine. Children, children, we need to rehearse communion again."
I turned and headed back to my pew. I spied the family that had been sitting behind me watching me squirm, standing and watching the whole scene - giggles aplenty.
I abhor having to be that guy, but I couldn't sit by and say nothing any longer. I hope I did the right thing.
From all this I am reminded, the ship of the Church does not turn on a dime and there is still plenty of icy water to traverse.
63 comments:
"more hand motions than a three day conference for the hearing impaired"
HAHAHA!
You definitely did the right thing. I applaud you for being "that guy".
I don't think it's quite that bad at our parish. At least I've never seen them do a song. But they are required to make felt banners to hang on the end of their pews... So we opted out of the classes and went the home instruction route. I posted on that topic here if you're interested:
http://homeschoolingmythreesons.blogspot.com/2008/01/renegades.html
It went beautifully, and we plan to do the same with our other children.
I'm with ya.
But I must say I am a bit mystified by the antipathy that many express toward holding hands during the Our Father. I just don't get this...especially when you're extending a hand to those seated around you during the sign of peace which comes along just moments later.
Our immediate family does hold hands during the Our Father, mainly because our children have always loved this custom (and no, we don't hold hands with strangers or anyone outside the family. There are no palms turned upward and certainly no hands waving in the air!) But it seems to me that families holding hands briefly during this particular prayer is little different than hugging a child during Mass or kissing your spouse at the sign of peace.
That's all.
Continue ranting!
(And I hasten to add that my husband and I may be products of catechesis in the 70s, but we both have an orthodox perspective on the faith today.)
Thank God you said something!
I don't understand why we as a Church continue to play down the fundamentals of our faith while trading them for cotton candy "hand motions" and the like.
When will we take our focus off our ourselves and allow our gaze to return to Jesus.
I don't think it is enough to only teach "our own kids". We must kindly (as you did) call people to recognize that our faith is not fundamental, but it is also not negotiable when it comes to giving respect that is due to Christ.
We need more of those "that guy" in our Churches, enough with the cotton candy we're hungry and that just ain't filling us up! :)
Also re: the Our Father and holding hands, I believe it is liturgically incorrect because while we recite the Our Father together, our focus during this special part of the Holy Mass is supposed to be centered on God and not our community.
I hope that helps :)
This is a very typical story, sad to say. My daughter's first communion had all the same nonsense - stupid songs, sign language and the hand holding. It wasn't the CCD teachers encouraging this (they taught them to kneel and take communion on the tongue) but the priest. He had them up there rolling around in the sanctuary like it was Playland.
Good for you for speaking up. Things will never change if everyone keeps silent.
And congratulations to your daughter on her upcoming First Communion!
I love it! God bless you for standing up to the INSANITY!
Seriously, one can only take so much.
I wonder if she would have popped a blood vessel if you suggested genuflecting or kneeling as other signs of respect before receiving our Lord.
This just illustrates the lack of catechisis and solid orthodox leadership in most parishes.
You did the right thing, especially when she tried to make excuses.
Funny how they are willing to teach everything, but what is in the GIRM.
Maybe if they put hand-holding during the Our Father and other common gestures into the GIRM they would stop doing them.
Did they have first confession before first Communion?
Yes,
We did reconciliation a month ago. Except we no longer confess sins, we tell of our bad choices.
I told my daughter that we do not confess bad choices, we confess sins. Plaid pants with a striped shirt is a bad choice, but not necessarily a sin.
We don't say "Bless me Father for I am a bad chooser!"
In my house, we are still sinners!
God bless you for doing exactly the right thing. There were probably parents there who were with you all the way, just too cowed by the directress of religious education (and sorry if people don't like the "ess," but if a woman is going to behave like you've described, "ess" is the least bad thing I'm going to call her) to stand up.
This is why none of my children have ever made their FHCs as part of a school or religious ed. class. I insist on my right as a Catholic home schooler to be treated as a Catholic school, not forced to send my children through some sort of parish-sanctioned felt-banner-as-gestalt-therapy excuse for hippy camp masquerading as religious instruction. This means that my girls received the sacraments quietly at Mass with just a little one-on-one instruction with Father before hand (and both priests we've had do this have been quietly approving of the whole thing, which helps).
God bless your daughter as she receives Our Lord tomorrow!
Just wanted to add my congrats to you for standing up to the DRE. Well said! And may God bless your daughter on her first Communion.
Patrick, all I can say is -- good for you!
God bless you for being the good father and teacher that you are. Maybe the adults learned something too.
--Laura
Patrick: You would have kicked yourself nine time a day, had you not stood up in defense of such obvious liturgical abuse. And this does make you a hero in your daughter's eyes.
Until we moved to our current parish (complete with TLM, parent's decide when the child receives, and then on the knees at the rail), we suffered under this same type of abuse from a militant femi-nazi nun, who also happened to be the DRE. Our children were the only ones in our parish who ever received first confession prior to first Holy Communion. And we were berated for it. Told that we were not in "union" with our parish. And first Holy Communion? Well, our first three received "wonder bread", "bread" that the little darlings made on their retreat...complete with honey, yeast, oil, etc. Invalid material for Consecration. But very tasty as the DRE told me later. This "bread" crumbled all over the place, was trampled under foot by the children, and the deacon made only a half-hearted attempt to pick up the "crumbs". Which tells me that he didn't believe it was the Body Of Christ. Here's hoping a zephyr will sweep the Church, and clear out all of this smoke...
Blessings to you and your sweet girl on this most special day. We'll say a prayer for you all...
Yes, congratulations on your daughter's first Holy Communion. What a joy!
I think you did the right thing and congratulate you for speaking up. It sounds like you kept your cool and acted like a true Catholic gentleman.
I don't have any FHC horror stories. Both of ours went pretty well. There was one silly song with the children bringing up various "gifts" with a simple gesture of raising the gifts up during the chorus. But, compared to these other examples, it was way tame. They went to CCD class for prep, and we did our own prep at home, as well. I was happy with their teacher and the DRE. They did go to first confession first (unlike myself, back in the mid-sixties). I even requested of the music minister that he NOT include a popular contemporary song that teaches consubstantiation instead of transubstantiation ("Precious Body, Precious Blood, here IN bread and wine"), and he respected that. All in all, because it was done well, we were able to focus on worship, the joyfulness of the day, and the great gift the Lord has given us in Eucharist. Isn't that the goal of liturgy?
We still have one more to go, and we have a new CCD teacher, DRE and music minister. We'll see how it goes in about four years.
Ya'll must live among them Yankee Catholics. We have a Yankee pastor now and everyone once in a while the 70s backlash does rear it's ugly head!
Bob Hunt
Thanks everyone for your encouragement. I hate having to be "that guy" but it was better than having a stroke!
Anon,
As for the hand holding during the Lord's prayer, it is not antipathy. Simply, if someone can point the spot in the GIRM where it instructs us to do that, fine. If not, let's not.
This is really the point, it is not about personal preference. Yours. Mine. The priest's. Nope. It is about the Lord's preference. It is His liturgy.
To show respect for the liturgy, in all its details, is to show respect for the Lord.
Sir, I wouldn't know how to react to this. I'm not certain if it was right or wrong, but I'm glad you stood up.
God help me!! My son's practice is the 21st and I pray that it is not like your experience...I'm just grumpy enough to complain like you did:)
Thanks for your rant. Fortunately I was spared such an experience when my son received his first holy communion a decade ago. As far as turning the church on a dime, forget it. Proper liturgical manners will require a reconversion, and that in turn will require saints.
Thank you for having the assertiveness to address this; it really takes courage. Thanks for being *that guy*. You might just have helped put a bunch of kids on the path of reverence for life.
Irenaeus
Good for you, and God bless your daughter on her FHC!
My children attend the local Catholic school and a few years ago, there was some crazytalk about not allowing the girls to wear Communion dresses. Thankfully that talk died down in short order.
But when it was my oldest son's turn to prepare for FHC, I learned with horror that the children were not even being taught that receiving on the tongue was an option. I talked to his teacher about it, who referred me to the principal, who referred me to the DRE, who told me, "Father won't allow it."
So...off to Father I went, dressed in the MOST intimidating outfit I could find (pencil skirt, silk blouse and 4 inch heels -- and on a six-foot tall redhead...well, let's just say I intimidated). Father tried to intimidate right back, but I would not budge. I told him, "You know I'm right, you know I have canon law on my side, and I warn you, I WILL go over your head."
He backed down, and the children WERE taught how to receive on the tongue.
The Big Day comes, and we all suffered through a Mass quite a bit like the one you describe. As the children processed out of the church they began to sing, "I Got the Joy Joy Joy Joy Joy Joy Joy Down in my Heart." My Luteran MIL was there, clapping away, and said, "Why, it's just like Vacation Bible School!" Like, "Thank God it's not too Popish!"
When I made FHC, we sang "Panis Angelicus." My poor kids got "Joy Joy Joy Joy Down in My Heart."
You did good to say something.
Regards,
PS: That line about the conference for the hearing impaired was the funniest I've heard in at least a month.
I have a hard time understanding your anger and hostility in church, in front of the tabernacle, when your daughter is preparing for her first communion. This should be a time full of joy for you and your family, yet you spend so much time picking apart the songs, hating the DRE and bashing "the '70's"that you are missing the point. You were so hostile to the DRE and the people around you from the start. When you did have a reasonable point to make she was defensive and others laughed. I have a suggestion for you. Do not be "that guy." Make your point respectfully. Be loving and forgiving. Try to see that some of this IS about personal preference. Does the musical preference of the Lord really equal your preference? Do you think He could really hate the sound of precious children singing in His house as much as you do? It breaks my heart to see this much hatred on a supposedly Catholic blog. Respect for the liturgy is important. As are love and compassion. And where is the respect for ANYTHING when you are talking about b**** slapping someone in church? I'm baffled.
A pox on the middle aged womyn, like your DRE who run our parishes. Looks like someone just volunteered to teach CCD at your parish.
Dear Baffled,
I believe I was respectful to both the DRE and the liturgy. Further, being loving and forgiving does equate with rolling over and playing dead. I did not display anger as you suggest but firm reason. This is not hatred.
To suggest that it is hatred to stand up for what is right in demagoguery, pure and simple.
Oh, Patrick, I feeeel your pain! Seriously, you were absolutely correct to call the DRE when she neglected to teach the kids what the general instruction requires.
I think baffled was equating you with David Alexander's comment. OK, maybe "b**** slapping" is not the most gentle and loving way to express one's displeasure, but I applaud the sentiment. These children are the future of the Church and they deserve proper instruction.
This story makes me even more confident that we need to restore the altar rail. It would eliminate a score of abuses. I'm not really a "trad", but the removal of the altar rail was a serious mistake.
One thing that the DRE cannot change is that your daughter will receive Jesus (Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity) in Holy Communion. Thank God that He is constant, even when we are not. (Oh, and confessing "bad choices"--Good Lord we have a lot of work to do.)
Congratulations to your daughter on her FHC.
There is nothing in the GIRM about hand holding during the Our Father. GIRM says we should stand. Nothing more, nothing less. It also states nothing should be added - this including hand holding.
Do you think the comment someone made about b**** slapping the DRE in church is respectful to the liturgy, the church, the Blessed Sacrament, the Body of Christ, His people or anything? You don't like music from "the 70s" but when children who are preparing for FHC are singing God's praises do you think it is respectful to roll your eyes, sneer, and make such a scene about your displeasure that those sitting around you notice? Do you think that after you act that way in church, in front of the tabernacle that you can then lecture others about showing the proper respect and they will be able to hear what you are saying? By all means, stand up for what you think is right -- respectfully.
Anonymous,
You need to read more carefully. The comment about slapping the DRE isn't appropriate, but it also isn't Patrick's. A different commenter wrote that. Patrick showed respect and restraint, in my opinion. Before you reprimand him for "acting that way" in church, consider the fact that Christ himself "acted that way" and then some -- when disrespect and injustice called for it.
I can't believe that DRE wouldn't even take the time to teach them to bow their heads! I mean I genuflect before receiving communion and I'm a freaking teenager so the person who is in charge of teaching the future of the church should be able to manage a simple bow of the head. I applaud you for being "that guy" if you hadn't been willing to get people mad those children would have learned incorrectly which means that if they ever decided to have children those children would learn incorrectly starting a vicious cycle.
My parish allows us to home school religious ed, and we have a separate First Communion. I recommend it. When I was a child, parents would schedule their child's First Communion at the parish office, the child would sit up front with their family at the Mass that their family regularly attends, and the child would receive first. I have never liked these large group First Communion services.
Anonymom, Are you comparing the "righteous indignation" this gentleman has upon hearing "70s music" in church to the righteous indignation of Jesus upon discovering merchants in the temple? I hope not. I don't recall Jesus spending a lot of time in debate about which forms, postures and stances to use in worship. I think the Pharisees spent a lot of time doing that. I agree that the proper respect is needed and required in church and especially in front of the Blessed Sacrament. I find it unfortunate that you don't require the same level of respect from those who agree with point of view on things such as style of music. To me, the suggestion that anyone be slapped at a FHC preparation is bordering on sacreligious. Yet you all think it's mighty funny because the person who suggested it prefers Latin hymns over "70s music."
Oops, above should read "from those who don't agree with your point of view." Sorry for omitting a word.
We homeschool, but I don't really like the idea of separate First Communions for homeschoolers, or for any particular population within a parish. It seems to me it's creating a parish within a parish, and there's enough of that. People who regularly attend different Mass times hardly ever see each other as it is, and then there are Spanish Masses, Vietnamese Masses, TLM, etc... We're fracturing our parishes enough.
Better to approach the pastor or DRE and offer our services to teach, lead, etc... and be a part of turning the parish around rather than creating our own little enclave. I know that's harder and can be frustrating when others don't want to listen (you know the old joke about the difference between a terrorist and a liturgist: you can negotiate with a terrorist). But I fear that the alternative is even more division and bitterness and the temptation to sanctimony.
Patrick, while I'm glad that you did say something that needed to be said and that you did so in what was a firm but proper manner, perhaps next time your child comes up for a sacrament make an appointment with the pastor and DRE well in advance to get an idea of what the plans are. That way you can have an input. I like what some earlier bloggers said: we need saints, and those saints need to be teaching CCD.
Bob Hunt
"Do you think the comment someone made about b**** slapping the DRE in church is respectful to the liturgy, the church, the Blessed Sacrament, the Body of Christ, His people or anything?"
If you took a moment to climb down from your Throne of Sanctimony long enough, you would know that such an action was meant to be disrespectful to the DRE, to whom it would be directed. Such people are often in dire need of a serious reality check, in whatever form it is rendered. To say that Patrick was too kind only underscores the defilement of the Holy of Holies that routinely occurs in many parishes, by people in whom we entrust our children.
At the Council of Nicea, Arius was TKO'd by another bishop, who was outraged by his heresy. What I mean is, he was slapped hard right across the kisser! The emperor threw the misbehaving bishop in jail. That night, the emperor had a dream, seeing that bishop resplendent in his episcopal robes and holding the Book of Gospels. Awakened and alarmed, he called his guards to accompany him to the dungeon. There they found this "disrespectful" bishop, just as the emperor saw him in his dream. The bishop was immediately released.
That naughty bishop was none other than Nicholas of Myra. That's right, Oh Anonymous One. Jolly old St Nick cold-cocked a heretic! The suggestion in this case was made with tongue firmly in cheek. I have a suggestion for you too, but I've gotta be respectable here.
I have to agree with anonymous @ 11:15. I thought this rant of yours was ridiculous and I doubt it propelled anyone toward conversion. Perhaps you should have had your child make their communion privately if you had preferences as to the types of songs you wanted them to sing. Surely you knew before this day what songs your child had been rehearsing?
As for bowing before receiving Jesus. I have found this new rule to be distracting and often very awkward.
Patrick I applaud you for being "that guy".
I chose the coward's way out a year ago, and am now at a parish where the pastor and the DRE fulfill the roles the Church intends, and so there is no hand-holding, no banal music, and the children at first communion (my son's rehearsal and first confession was this afternoon) will be receiving on the tongue, kneeling at the altar rail.
I love my parish!
As for bowing before receiving Jesus. I have found this new rule to be distracting and often very awkward.
With all due respect, Walker, it's actually not about you and how you feel. It's about the real presence of Christ in the Eucharist, and showing Him proper respect before receiving.
Bob Hunt, I hear you, but I was not clear in my comment. While my children made their First Communion with other home schoolers, it was not "the home school First Communion." It was simply scheduled privately and separate from the huge group. I truly favor First Communion made at the Mass that your family regularly attends.
But I apologize for posting a comment with a my way is better theme. Instead:
Congratulations to all here whose children have just made or who are about to make their First Communion. The Grace of the Sacrament will bless your children and families abundantly. Be well and God bless you.
Anonymous, it's Walker here, I'm not sure if you understood what I was trying to say. That is this very new tradition in the Church distracts me from Jesus, it makes it all about me and remembering to bow at the right time when in fact my heart needs to focus on Jesus.
Perhaps you are different from me that is ok but please don't make assumptions about where my heart is at..... I get the impression that is a habit not only of this blogger but of most of the posters also...This was the first post I read here...
This new tradition is distracting?
Not a new tradition, it is what the GIRM has always called for.
"t makes it all about me "
If bowing before the blessed sacrament is all about you. You have issues we cannot address here.
The comment someone made about the slapping needs to go away. For someone to even think that should happen literally or figuratively is wrong, and posting it for all the world to see is bad. However, props to you for standing up for Our Faith!!! It sounds to me that the way you addressed this lady was quite appropriate. I would talk to my parish priest and the bishop however, if she took offense to teaching what we believe and not what she thinks these kids should know. As for the raising of hands...I am a Charismatic Catholic, and if I feel led by the Holy Spirit to do so, my hands are going up during a song. Usually, I have a child that I am holding, so it doesn't happen. Even, so it is not the way that everybody chooses to worship, and there is nothing wrong with that. Also, I would never raise my hands during the consecration or other parts of the Mass like that. And (one more thing) the focus should be on the children receiving Communion, not on how many songs they can sing.
God Bless You!!! LOVE YOUR BLOG!
I especially like "Well, if that is your family custom, you can instruct your child at home to bow his or her head!"
That seems to be the way "liturgists", "worship leaders" and DREs try to avoid the proficiency required of them.... It is all just a matter of personal taste rather than any objective rule or norm. Some of you might have seen the recent post on Father Z's site about the Poll on sacred music for Mass started by a "worship leader" who also has a radio show on the Archdiocese of Miami radio station.
http://wdtprs.com/blog/2008/04/poll-in-fl-about-sacred-music-for-mass/
There seems to be a pattern...?
Incidentally, on that Poll on sacred music, I forgot to mention that the radio show (which clearly favor "praise and worship" contemporary charismatic music) pulled the poll with 22 days left in the voting when the "tradional" vote was 502 to 30 something for charismatic music. Quite suspicious actually... don't you think?
If you took a moment to climb down from your Throne of Sanctimony long enough, you would know that such an action was meant to be disrespectful to the DRE, to whom it would be directed. Such people are often in dire need of a serious reality check, in whatever form it is rendered.
Wow. You are so full of hostility. You have no respect for anyone but yourself. It seems *you* could do anything, including slap someone in front of the Blessed Sacrament, and it would be a righteous action rather than a show of disrespect, because you have appointed yourself a saint. Be very careful of comparing yourself to saints. It tends to make people view you as sanctimonious.
As Christine at 9:46 said...
This new tradition is distracting?
Not a new tradition, it is what the GIRM has always called for.
"t makes it all about me "
If bowing before the blessed sacrament is all about you. You have issues we cannot address here.
Right on Christine! It certainly is not a new tradition and was originally genuflecting as I usually do but was changed to bowing your head. I mean seriously people its not like your doing some overly choreographed bow that requires practice all you have to do is bow your head a LITTLE not enough that your staring at the floor just enough that you are clearly showing your respect. The only reason you should have for not doing it is if your incapable of moving your neck and head. I in all actuality can't believe that I even should feel the need to have this rant considering that this stuff should be taught from day one of CCD or whatever way you are prepared for first communion and while I agree that it would be disrespectful to slap the DRE in church there are certain things that are not optional in communion and reverence is one of them!
Bowing is not a natural or well-practiced action for most of us. I am accustomed to genuflecting before receiving...been genuflecting in one form or another for a zillion years. Bowing? No. Never took martial arts, always feel awkward bowing to altar in churches where Blessed Sacrament is nowhere to be found.
I haven't figured out the right way to bow, nor the precise timing during Communion.
Bowing isn't really all that simple for some of us.
That said, I realize that it's not about me and my feelings. I know that the more I do it, the more comfortable I will become. People who don't particularly like it aren't necessarily progressives or lazy or whatever.
First time,
Please understand that my 'personal preference' would not be bowing, but rather receiving on my knees at rail.
So be it.
The point I was trying to make is that this is religious education and they are teaching the children how to behave at mass. What they should teach the children is what the Church teaches. Not my preference, not their preference, the Church's.
If people think that I was trying to impose my will upon the DRE and the children, respectfully, they are missing the boat.
Teach what the Church teaches. That is all.
Seriously Patrick, you need to take the comment about the slapping off of your blog. Too many people are thinking that you said that and that is just not true. I don't know who left that remark, but THAT was disrespectful. Regardless of the situation this lady is still our sister in Christ, and does not deserve to have that said about her when the commenter had nothing to do with the situation.
Respectfully,
Heather R.
You did the right thing, respectfully and with grace. God bless you and your family & especially your daughter on her First Communion Day!
If you're ever in the Dayton, Ohio area, Our Lady of the Rosary has an extraordinary form Mass at 8:45am every Sunday, noon weekdays except Friday, which is 7pm and Saturday at 9am. The FSSP priest is wonderful and there are lots of friendly folks of all ages.
I say hooray to you for standing up for what is right. I have seen some here accuse you of a sanctimonious attitude and ask why couldn't you just shut up. Let me answer in part for you:
A) Mass is a show event, it is the worship of God. Even when there are occasions within the Mass such as 1st Commnuion, the emphasis does not move from God to the cute little 2nd graders. The kids are not there to conduct a grade school musical...they are there to receive the Body and Blood of Christ for the 1st time. The lirurgy should always reflect the DIGNITY of what is being celebrated. If the DRE were my employee she would've been fired for this nonsense. To spend so much on silly frivilous nonsense that took away from the holiness of this event while at the same time not even bothering to do what the Church asked in the reception of Communion is a derilection of duty.
B)It can be a memorable event with out all the sideshow antics. WE had our 1st Communion here a few weeks back. The kids came in and left with me. They were expected to receive correctly. We gave each of them a little icon after the prayer ater the Closing Collect. My retina are still healing from the 9 zillion pictures taken after Mass. It was respectful and taught the kids what would happen every Sunday. Then again these kids are exposed to the Eucharistic Adoration once a month as well and have a firm idea of the connection between communion and confession. And by golly, they are happy well adjusted kids to boot.
C) If what is being done is wrong then it needs to be called out. Liturgical bullies abound who make it up as they go along and mold the Mass into a fiasco. They come at liturgical celebrations as if cutesy is great and following the ritual is boring. For them, Mass is primarily a entertainment event meant to illicit an emotion...that God gets thanks and praise is completely incidental.
D) WE need to quit lowballing what we think our kids need and are capable of. they are capable of taking things seriously on an age-appropriate level. They are capable of or being quiet, reverential, yet fully participatory. I know this because the kids at our school are. They are able to be prayerful for 30 minutes+ in front of the Blessed Sacrament for Adoration, they are fearful or resentful of Confession, they are reverential at Mass. WE raise the bar here. I read someone talk about how they Panis Angelicum when they did their 1st Communion. WE sang it here for a communion hymn last Thursday at the weekday Mass. Every Mass I have here during the school year is a school Mass (all of them). I can assure you, my kids would've been horrified to been asked to do what the DRE was demanding. Just because it is Barney-esque doesn't mean it isn't age appropriate.
So kudos to you! More people should stand up for what is right and quit allowing our liturgies to be turned into 3 ring circuses in the name of making them 'meaningful'. If receiving the Body and Blood of Christ isn't meaningful enough...then are some serious problems that can't be erased by hand-holding happy clappy shenanigans.
But that's just my opinion...no wait...it isn't! It is the teaching of the Church!
I really to edit my comments:
Mass is not a show
My kids are not fearful of confession
the closing prayer and collect are the same thing
and no...every Sunday Mass does not include the 1st Communicants.
But yes...my students (both catholic grade school and public) are capable of giving the due praise and dignity due the Eucharist.
"Jolly old St Nick cold-cocked a heretic!"
I did not know that. Love it!
"Be very careful of comparing yourself to saints. It tends to make people view you as sanctimonious."
Whereas you, on the other hand, are so humble in pointing out my shortcomings. At least I'm not afraid to put my name behind my comments. I may be a foul-mouthed curmudgeon, but I take responsibility for it that way.
Whereas you, on the other hand...
If what is being done is wrong then it needs to be called out. Liturgical bullies abound who make it up as they go along and mold the Mass into a fiasco. They come at liturgical celebrations as if cutesy is great and following the ritual is boring. For them, Mass is primarily a entertainment event meant to illicit an emotion...that God gets thanks and praise is completely incidental.
I have some questions about this statement. If the dreaded hand motions to the song were eliminated would the group of people that rallies around the writer of this blog be able to sit and participate fully in a Mass that included this "70s music" song? Would you all be able to keep your focus on thanking and praising God along with the children rather than seething about how much you hate the song? I have to agree with you that Mass is not entertainment. Indeed, the focus is not supposed to be on how "cute" the children are, nor is it supposed to be on the eye rolling and sneering of a person who hates this particular song or this type of music. Although you have put all kinds of ulterior motives onto the DRE, who are you to judge her motives? Perhaps singing this particular song is not how YOU would choose to show your thanks and praise to God, but did it ever occur to you that showing thanks and praise to God was the intent of the person who chose this song for this particular FHC Mass? It seems to me that the people who read this blog are not able to fully and completely participate in Mass without anger and hatred toward your fellow Catholics IF the Mass includes music that YOU DON'T LIKE. Hearing a bunch of children singing in Latin may send a warm tingly feeling down your spine and "illicit emotion" from you. But, as pointed out above, that is not the point. I was taught in Catholic school (gasp, in the '70s, no less) by non-habit wearing, guitar playing nuns (I'm sure you all would have hated them on sight) that "Mass is not held to entertain you." When you demand Latin hymns, are not you, in fact, contradicting yourself? Aren't you saying that somehow the Mass is less special and less meaningful TO YOU? Whether your children sing "Panis Angelicum" or "I've Got that Joy, Joy, Joy, Down in My Heart" isn't the same thing taking place? Are they not still receiving the most special gift of the Holy Eucharist? Should that not be enough, no matter what the music is like? Or does this sentiment only apply when you don't like the music?
what would our Holy Father say ? i would like him to address this...again.
Anon,
First, that is a awfully long comment by someone anonymous.
Second. I ascribed no motives to the DRE. I described her actions and statements only.
Third. I did not complain to the DRE that I did not like the music. I respectfully asked that the children be taught how to receive communion properly.
Fourth. The question of proper liturgical music is too large to be addressed here. However the Church does teach that certain musical forms should have pride of place. Tingles or no tingles. Look it up.
It's tragic that anyone would defend Shine Jesus Shine and Down in My Heart for use in the Mass. Such an obvious lack of taste ought to be reprimanded on the spot. Its just plain ugly and has no place in worship.
The ends here don't justify the means. And, no, Shine Jesus Shine isn't the same as Panis Angelicus. Nice try. Beauty and truth is what is called for in worship, not banality.
BTW, the Council didn't call for active participation at all. That silliness has been the excuse for all sorts of goofiness. Full, conscience and actual (actuosa rather than activa) participation is what the Council call for (SC 14).
And yes, some forms of music do have "pride of place" in our worship. To replace them with such gems as Down in My Heart is to rob the faithful of a treasure that rightly belongs to them (not to mention actively defying the Council).
Shine Jesus Shine isn't the same as Panis Angelicus. Nice try. Beauty and truth is what is called for in worship, not banality.
I did not say they are the same. I said the same thing happens in the Mass no matter what the songs are.
I don't have any problems with "Shine, Jesus, Shine" in and of itself. Our high school praise band has played it at Mass more than once and, when done well, it's a wonderful, uplifting song of praise. Had the children been allowed to sing that song, or another, without the ridiculous hand motions and "woo-woos", perhaps it would have offered a joyful coda to a rich and grace-filled day. I would be hard pressed to say the same about "I've Got That Joy, Joy, Joy, Joy Down in My Heart" at Mass, though I've enjoyed singing that song while washing the dishes or doing other household chores!
Pride of place means exactly that, pride of place, not exclusive place. It's possible to incorporate a variety of styles of music in the liturgy, again if done in a respectful way. Music in liturgy is intended to facilitate worship, not distract from it. That's where the DRE lost her focus here: she turned the song into a show.
Bob Hunt
""I've Got That Joy, Joy, Joy, Joy Down in My Heart" ...though I've enjoyed singing that song while washing the dishes"
Remind me never to go to dinner at Bob Hunt's house! ;-)
Anonymous,
But you haven't lived until you've tried my pork rind fried chicken. I'll sing Panis Angelicum, if you prefer. :)
Bob Hunt
You absolutely did the right thing. If you hadn't done that, the children would have been falsely instructed, everyone would've been given a bad example, the altar & the Presence would not have been respected and the Church would not be one bit improved.
I know many holy people,lay and religious, who devoutly receive the Host without external manifestations.
It is within the heart and not the head.
Where do you stop? Bow from the head,bow at the waist, how deep to bow; kneel on one knee,left or right;
knell on both knees; how low can you go?
Much ado about nothing.
Our parish has a group of kids receive first communion at every Mass during the Easter season. Our DRE thinks it's cute to have the kidos stand around the alter during the consecration! We have to watch this replay every Sunday (my husband says we're going to a different parish next week). To top it off this Sunday and little girl threw up at the alter and then again as she decended the stairs to her daddy's arms. A friend of mine's 18 year old commented, "Don't you think Jesus was screaming 'Get off my Alter!'? I have to firmly answer, "YES!"
Some readers may be blessed to be in an archdiocese where there are still a few parishes off course but in our archdiocese the majority are way off course and only a new Archbishop in a year and a half will stear it right.
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