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Nominated Archbishop Didn't Pay Tithe

Pope Benedict XVI is set to announce a new Archbishop of New York to replace Cardinal Edward Egan, an informed Vatican source tells Newsmax.

Many conservatives are pleased because the source says that Cardinal Egan’s successor is from the “conservative and orthodox” wing of the Church.

But CMR is speculating the the nominated Archbishop could have some tithing problems in his past. Some liberal theologians are saying that the Pope's nominee has failed to pay years of back-tithing -a fact which, if true, could derail his nomination.

Although Catholics are not officially asked to tithe, they are asked to give generously to the Church. Many still believe that ten percent of income to the Church is a good guideline. It is not demanded but a position of such high standing would lead one to think that the priest should have tithed in a proper manner despite giving all of his life in service to the Church.

The supposed nominee, on condition of anonymity, said he "just plain forgot." He said he was deeply embarrassed by the unfortunate disclosure recently made public and asked that this "oversight" was put in context of years of service to the Church.

He wrote a letter to L'Osservatore Romano saying, "In December, the archdiocese's accountant advised me that I was a little behind in my donations. In an effort to ensure full compliance and the most complete disclosure possible of my personal finances, we remedied these issues by filing amended tithing returns with full payments, without interest. I assure everyone my mistakes were unintentional and I disclosed this information to the Pope voluntarily, and paid the tithing (without interest) promptly."

Pope Benedict XVI seems to be standing behind his nominee, saying today that his nominee is truly the only man for the job and that any attempt to derail this nomination would be seen as an attempt to play "the theologies of personal eschatology." He said the nominee was uniquely qualified for the position of Archbishop. The Pope then added that it actually didn't matter what anyone else thought because "I won."

Some New York Catholics, who haven't attended Mass in years or donated any money to the Church but still felt they had the authority to speak on this issue, said it would be outrageous for the nominee to be confirmed. "Puttin' this guy in charge of the New Yawk diocese would be like puttin' some joik in charge of the IRS who didn't pay his taxes."

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18 comments:

LarryD said...

Classic!

I'm sure the nominee honestly forgot to tithe, but the deeper question is, did he contribute to the CCHD?

matthew archbold said...

I was snarkily commenting on your blog while you were over here. Weird.

Warren said...

Somehow, this (gossipy sounding) article seems unworthy of this otherwise excellent blog.

Deusdonat said...

Is this a joke?

matthew archbold said...

of course it is. Back tithing? Come on.

Michelle said...

"Is this a joke?"

Oh, it's just not so funny when you have to explain the joke, is it?

Well, at least I was amused.

matthew archbold said...

thanks.

Jay Anderson said...

Matthew,

It appears you have some parody-challenged folks reading today. The "article seems unworthy of this otherwise excellent blog"? Are you kidding me? I agree that this blog is definitely excellent, but the outstanding satire and parody are EXACTLY what one should be expecting to read here. Anyone surprised by this isn't really paying attention.

Deusdonat said...

Matthew - chalk it up to my ignorance. There are just things that are far too bizarre to be true, but that actually are.

I guess I just got excited at the mere suggestion of Pope Benedict (may God bless him and grant him 100 years) replacing bishops and let that cloud my natural instinct towards sardonic wit. Good job, anyway.

matthew archbold said...

Deusdonat,
actually, the Pope is announcing a new archbishop to replace Cardinal Egan. That part is true, according to Newsmax.

the Egyptian said...

(giggle-snort) some joik who didn't pay his taxes (giggle--snort breakfast milk out my nose),
thanks for the humor in the morning

Anonymous said...

Okay, Matthew, you got me again! And I consider myself very April-Fool proof! Good job!

Mack

matthew archbold said...

It's those public schools, Mack. Stay away from them;)

Deusdonat said...

Matthew - I'm getting all a-chill here now. I REALLY wish his holiness would feel compelled to replace Mahoney and Niederaur while he's at it.

Oh GEEZE that would be swell.

Kevin said...

Clever parody, but it doesn't quite work.

I would definitely like to see HHS Sec-Designate, Tom Daschle's nomination go down in flames for among other things failing to pay back taxes.

Anonymous said...

I was confused at first... but now I get it!
~Laura

Jen Raiche said...

Too funny!

Charlotte said...

http://cheekypinkgirl.blogspot.com/2009/02/archbishop-dolan-leaving-milwaukee.html

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