March To Madness
CMR is here to rescue you from the annual humiliation and ridicule of your office NCAA pool by offering an alternative that CMR readers can sink their teeth into. Look, you're not the one with satellite television watching every single college basketball game and watching for the weaknesses in Oklahoma State's point guard. And you don't even care that Morehead State's Center has a bad knee.
But CMR is offering you some brackets that you know a thing or two about. As a CMR reader you've had a front row seat to the spiral of Western civilization into an apathetic, politically correct, death-fetish culture. From abortion to euthanasia to just plain bad taste, let's find out who's responsible for destroying our culture.
With this in mind, the CMR think tank after months of study is now announcing the "March to Madness" brackets. Monday through Thursday of this week, the competitors will battle it out until we reach the Final Four. And on Monday the battle to crown the winner of the most destructive person in our culture will end.
Join CMR and "March to Madness" by choosing your winners in the combox because you can influence the judging by lobbying to see certain people to advance or fall.
In the end, there can be only one. Vote early. Vote often.
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Updated: See Results in March to Madness Round of 32
Update - March To Madness - The Creep 16
46 comments:
What the heck!? You fools! Where is Margaret Sanger!?
Quick, change the chart before the competition is declared unconstitutional by the Supreme Court (another missing contender).
And where is Cardinal Mahony?
Eo,
A fair point, but some others won their conference tournaments. The worst teams don't always make it!
George Soros over Harry Reid. Reid is a tool of Soros. Nothing more.
Kmiec and Olbermann. That's one to watch. For me, I choose Kmiec. Olbermann is a lunatic liberal while Kmiec is a wolf in sheep's clothing.
Why Bill O'reilly?
Michael Bolton over Donal Trump. Please!
its a outrage!
This is a tough one, because it looks like most of these teams have home games in the first round.
I'm really intrigued by the Bill Maher vs. Bill Maher matchup in the first round -- no, no, the other one -- because depending on which Bill Maher shows up for that game, it could go either way. They have a real chance of making it to the Sweet 16 this year. (But their run will likely end when they meet major conference powerhouse Oprah and her legion of adoring fans. Atheists always lose to demi-goddesses -- it's like not having good point guard play. Bites you in the *** every March.)
There are some great Cinderella stories this year -- I mean, Peter Singer! Who knew that a full-court infanticide press was good enough to win your conference tourney??? Linda Ronstadt -- I don't even know what state they're from. And a lot of people like Doug Kmiec to go deep, but let's face it -- they have NO inside game and they get schooled on their home court. Sorry, Doug. NIT is more your speed.
Not sure who my Final Four picks are, but I'll go out on a limb and say this is Barack Obama's tournament to lose. They have it all -- front court and back, offense and defense, the police powers of the state, and Dickie V. kissing their *** all the way to the Championship game. Soros is a minor speed bump, but then it's smooth marching all the way to Madness.
Gotta love this time of year.
This is so hysterical. I've got to print out the bracket and go over it better. At first glance, I think I've got to agree with j and his/her awesome comment!
Hey, what's wrong with Oklahoma State's point guard? We love our Byron Eaton!
(I am that guy who watches all the games. Sports is one of the few things that American Culture does well. Don't talk too much smack on it, and if my words not enough, go read what James Schall has to say about sports...)
Sad to see Paris Hilton not make the list, but she had a bit of a down year.
Well...I'm making my Final Four prediction now...
I say Barack vs. Bill O'Reilly, with a very narrow margin of victory by Barack (the media will call this one!) and Oprah vs. Michael Steele (Michael will throw the game having been paid off my Harpo - he is a turncoat, after all).
Winner? A draw...this one will be a total love-fest between the Dark Lord and his Queen.
What a hoot...thanks guys, I feel so much better about the destruction of our culture. What's that REM song?
It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine...
Vox Nova...
...LMAO
...and they get Linda Ronstadt in the first round?!
Cool.
Bill O'reilly, because he is an enabler. He does speak out on some issues but only ones that won't get him dirty. He just calms the masses and never sticks his neck out. Like the "Obama is a smart and good guy until I know otherwise.." line that he keeps pushing. Well, O'reilly, how much in your face evidence do you need to realize the truth? You just act like you are "Paul Revere" while our country is destroyed.
My picks: Pelosi, Moore, Obama, Soros, Biden, Matthews, Dawkins, Kmiec, Winehouse (but she's going down in the next round), ACLU, Kung, Singer, Specter, Patterson, Sarandon, O'Reilly, Maher, Maher, Oprah, Sharpton, Michael, Byrd, Frank, Brown, Williamson, Steele, Clooney, Vox Nova, Huffington, Trump, The View, Moulitsas
My picks: Pelosi, Octomom (Moore was quiet this year, fortunately), Obama, Reid, Biden, Matthews, Dawkins, Kmiec, Maher, Oprah, TO, Michael Jackson, Robert "KKK" Byrd, Barney Grank, George Lucas (evil, evil man for adding aliens to Indiana Jones), Jar Jar Binks, ACLU, Hans Kung, David Duke, Arlen Specter, Gov. Patterson (Spears was fairly quiet this year), Alec Baldwin, Lindsay Lohan, Ron Howard, Michael Steele, Clooney, Vox Nova, Voice of the Faithful, Trump, The View, and the Trans Fat Nazis.
Wow, quite a list. I, admittedly, had to look up a few on there.
You guys are amazing! I'm posting this on Facebook and will post my picks shortly...
Even though I rabidly follow March Madness (the REAL March Madness - NCAA's) as a huge Duke fan (gotta love Coach K) [since PSU isn't playing in the NCAA's...]... this is a riot. Going on my Facebook page too!
Thanks boys!
This is awesome! I love Bill Maher's four entries! But I think Barney Frank will take him down in the sweet 16.
George Lucas is returning the same starting five they've had since winning it all in '77. They have 30th-year seniors on that team. They've slowed down a bit, so it's amazing they make the tournament at all.
err.. elite 8.
Hold on - I think it's going to be OctoMom versus Jar Jar Binks.... with OCTOMOM taking it all.... The cast of the View was a close call, though....
J. Christian
Well done. I'd rather listen to you over Dick Vitale any day!
I love this site, but adding Vox Nova strikes me as a fit of pique, and is going to get them squawking, with justification.
Where's Andrew Sullivan?
Here are my picks...
Nancy Pelosi
Michael Moore
Barack Obama
George Soros
Joe Biden (what's wrong with Nickelback?)
Chris Matthews
Richard Dawkins
Doug Kmiec
Bill Maher
Bill Maher (lol)
Oprah
Al Sharpton
Janet Jackson
Robert Byrd
Barney Frank (this was easy but Chris Dodd deserved to make it to the next round too)
Dan Brown
Amy Winehouse
Bill Clinton
Hillary Clinton
Peter Singer
Arlen Specter
Britney Spears
Susan Sarandon
Bill O'Reilly
Ron Howard
Michael Steele
George Clooney
Vox Nova
Voice of the Faithful (yes!!!)
Michael Bolton
The View (tough choice)
Markos Moulitsas
Hillary Clinton over Kung. Hillary can still do damage. Kung has already done his and is now just a mouthpiece that dissenters occasionally roll out on a dolly like Hannibal Lecter.
I honestly hope Bishop Williamson becomes your pastor one day, Patrick. I mean that...
~cmpt
May I have permission to post this image on my Facebook account?
Heh... but why the Ninevah Region? Those guys actually repented!
I propose a Mecca Region. They want to destroy the culture by destroying us.
I like your 64 team field, but your seeding is off. Sean Penn and Nancy Pelosi are both #1 seeds.
Sodom:
Pelosi
Octomom
Obama
Soros
Biden
Time
Dawkins
Kmiec
Gomorrah:
Maher
*forfeit*
Tattoo barbie
Sharpton
J. Jackson
Byrd
Frank
Brown
Babylon:
Winehouse
Clinton
Clinton
Singer
Specter
Spears
Baldwin
Lohan
Nineveh:
Howard
Sheen
Clooney
Vox Nova
CMR, I mean VOTF ;)
Trump
Garafolo
Trans Fat
There are some tough ones in here, but I feel as though the Nineveh region is the weakest as a whole. Whoever comes out of the Sodom bracket will be hard to beat. That is the bracket of death, literally.
I disagree DP.
Vox Nova earned their way in the tournament. They shouldn't be denied a spot when they've done by far the most damage of any Catholic blog (if we can call them Catholic) of twisting the Truth.
The amount of talent is breathtaking. Not a single Kennedy made the cut. And really, Mahony should at least be able to take out Tatoo Barbie.
This. Is. Awesome.
Sodom Region
Nancy Pelosi
Octomom
Barack Obama
Harry Reid
Joe Biden
Time Magazine
Richard Dawkins
Doug Kmiec
Gomorrah Region
Bill Maher
Bill Maher
Oprah
Al Sharpton
Michael Jackson
Robert Byrd
Barney Frank
George Lucas
Babylon Region
Jar Jar Binks
Bill Clinton
Hans Kung
Peter Singer
Arlen Specter
Gov. Patterson
Susan Sarandon
Bill O'Reilly
Ninevah Region
Ron Howard
Michael Steele
George Clooney
Vox Nova
Voice of the Faithful
Michael Bolton
The View
Trans Fat Nazis
I'm throwing all my weight behind Oprah, though I doubt she needs any more weight...
I'm not sure about your seeding. It looks like there may be some evidence of foregone conclusions.
Anthony,
Trans Fat Nazi's?
LOL
Some people have questioned why the Kennedys, Cardinal, Mahony, Planned Parenthood et al. did not make the tourney!
Those folks have long since lost their amateur status and gone professional. As such, they were not eligible.
Based on who actually has the ability influence culture, I'd go:
Sodom- R1)Pelosi, Moore, Obama, Soros, Biden, Time, Dawkins (tough one), Olberman. Round 2: Moore, Obama, Biden, Olberman. Then Obama meets Olberman, with Obama heading to the Final Four.
Gomorrah: Maher, Maher, Oprah, Sharpton, Janet (I think Michael is irrelevant at this point), Byrd, Frank, and Brown. Round 2 would be Maher, Oprah, Jackson and Brown, with Oprah meeting Brown, with Oprah advancing. Frankly, Maher and Oprah meeting in the Sweet 16 is just a trough pick. Maher is heinous, but Oprah reaches so many more people, and her insipidness is almost worse than Maher's sheer evil.
Babylon: Jar Jar, ACLU, Hillary, Singer, Carville, Spears, Baldwin, O'Reilly. Advancing from round two: ACLU, Singer, Spears and O'Reilly. The finals would be Spears and Singer, with Singer advancing. Technically Spears has more influence, but Singer is just so repugnant, he has to be in the Final Four.
Finally, the weakest region, Ninevah: Howard, Sheen, Clooney, VN, VoTF, Bolton, The View, and Markos. Advancing from round two: Sheen, Clooney, VoTF, and Markos. Regional finals are Clooney and Markos, with Markos advancing.
Oprah takes out Obama, Markos edges out Singer, and Oprah takes home the trophy.
I don't see Cheney, Bush, Rush, or Glenn Beck.
This list is incomplete by far!
Did you mention Jerry Springer?
See 3-16-09 Stamford Advocate News
Connecticut Priest wants to fight Jerry Springer.
Here are my picks. The Sodom region is loaded with top contenders!
Sodom Region:
Nancy Pelosi
Michael Moore
Barack Obama
George Soros
Joe Biden
Time Magazine
Richard Dawkins
Doug Kmiec
Gomorrah Region:
Bill Maher
Bill Maher
Oprah
Al Sharpton
Michael Jackson
Robert Byrd
Barney Frank
Dan Brown
Babylon Region:
Amy Winehouse
ACLU
Hillary Clinton
Peter Singer
James Carville
Gov. Paterson
Susan Sarandon
Lindsay Lohan
Ninevah Region:
Ron Howard
Charlie Sheen
George Clooney
Vox Nova
Voice of the Faithful
Donald Trump
The View
Markos Moulitsas
Sorry Tito,
I didn't know who Markos was. Didn't know he was founder of Daily Kos. Don't read the site.
Some of the celebrities get a pass from me because a.) they do, technically produce something with their songs, movies, etc. and b.) they aren't taken particularly seriously and more often than not are on the pathetic end of society's jokes.
This is pure genius.
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