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Government Motors New Models

Just hours after the Government takeover, GM announces new models.

GMC ANWR
Requires oil but has no place to put it.

GM FannieMae
Works fine when going up hill but falls apart when going down hill.

GM Barney Frank
Conversely only works when going down.

GMC Bailout
Won't get you more than a few miles but a gov't tow truck will pick you up and send the bill to your rich neighbor.

GM Pelosi
Crazy looking headlights that distort everything you see.

GM Stimulus
Actually this is not a new model. They just took your neighbors car and gave it to you.

GM Healthcare Allows for no customization and you have to wait two years to get it. When it finally arrives, it doesn't work. (Produced in Canada & UK and imported into the US)

And a special bonus as per CEO Obama's mandate all GM vehicles will now be equipped with a standard feature that in the event a foreign car cuts you off and almost kills you and you hit the horn, your car automatically apologizes to the foreign car.

Enjoy The Ride!

Your Ad Here

29 comments:

Anonymous said...

This looks like a Smart4two... I have friends who have one and are quite happy with it. It has more room than one might suppose.
And it's quite economic to run too!
Elise B.

Rick said...

clever

Paul said...

Hilarious! Though I thought that the Barney Frank joke was in very bad taste, if it means what I think it means. The rest of them were great.

Anonymous said...

Is making fun of homosexuals unCatholic? Or is that one for which we can make exceptions?

CCC:

2358 The number of men and women who have deep-seated homosexual tendencies is not negligible. This inclination, which is objectively disordered, constitutes for most of them a trial. They must be accepted with respect, compassion, and sensitivity. Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided.

Mike in CT said...

One problem, Elise B., is that I wonder if GM or any car manufacturer for that matter, will be able to manufacture cars big enough to carry around a family with more than 1.2 children.

Where's the Smart4eight?

Patrick Archbold said...

Anon,
Unjust Discrimination should be avoided. Agreed.

Making fun of Barney is neither discrimination or unjust.

Jennifer @ Conversion Diary said...

You guys are hilarious!

Anonymous said...

Patrick,

Nice parsing! Went right to the words in the CCC you could demonstrate compliance with and skipped right over the "respect, compassion and sensitivity" part.

Not to mention your joke is a violation of the call to modesty and purity.

You remind me of the old saw: "Accuse a Jesuit of murdering three men and a dog and he will triumphantly produce the dog."

Just make sure you keep pointing out which parts of the Catechism are optional.

Elizabeth said...

Funny....maybe we should just think up another Barney Frank reference...maybe a little "pork" related... :)
Love the variety of "models".

aquinasadmirer said...

How about

Barney Frank.

Sees nothing regarding the "safety and soundness" of this vehicle as and issue.

It serves us badly to raise the issue of "safety and soundness" as a kind of a general shibboleth when it seems to not be an issue

SAHMinIL said...

lol

Anonymous said...

Hey Patrick - I love your blog.

But, I agree with some of the other posters about the Barney comment. It's over the line, and does not treat our same-sex attracted brothers and sisters with the compassion they merit.

Damien

Jerry said...

OK ... here's another "product description" for the GM Barney Frank:

"Only works at peak efficiency while lying through its grille about his role in encouraging Fannie & Freddie to make mortgage loans to people who couldn't afford them and leading to the the worldwide financial crisis"!

LarryD said...

Guess I'm buying Ford from now on...

Matthew Siekierski said...

Hypersensitive people should simply avoid all comedy. Heck, avoid everything, because no matter what is said, someone will find a way to be offended and upset.

Anonymous said...

Patrick started it with his hyperventilating about Tiller and his killer. I thought he was going to faint from defending the world from thoughtless comments!

LarryD said...

I bet the GM Barney Frank is a stick shift...

Cathy J said...

As a citizen of the PR of MA, Patrick, I give you permission to make all the fun of Rep. Frank that you can. Sadly, I doubt he's think the refernce inappropriate himself.

Paul said...

Hypersensitive people should simply avoid all comedy.

I enjoy comedy all the time, and am only rarely offended. But I expect different standards for comedy on a Catholic blog.

Patrick Archbold said...

CMR - Lowering expectations since 2007!

Anonymous said...

LarryD.
I've decided I would not buy a Ford product because of the Ford Foundation which funds Planned Parenthood...
Unfortunately, I cannot uphold that line of reasoning with my PC and avoid Microsoft!
Well, one is better than none.
Elise B.

Patrick Archbold said...

As always, I reserve the right to delete obnoxious comments on my whim.

Patrick Archbold said...

make that obnoxious anonymous comments

LarryD said...

Elise - when it comes to the domestic auto mfrs, between GM (now owned 72% between US & Canada govts; 17.5% UAW; balance bond holders) and Ford, there really isn't a good choice. And having worked for Chrysler at one point, I'm not even considering them.

All I know is I want as little $$$ as possible going to O or his UAW supporters. And Ford Motor Co. no longer has a direct relationship with Ford Foundation; unfortunately, Ford does promote glbt events which poses a different problem.

So I buy used cars.

matthew archbold said...

Wow. I thought I bought used cars because I was poor. I never thought I was making a moral statement. I like your idea better. I'm feeling better about myself already.

LarryD said...

It's all about feeeeelllinngggsss Matthew.

Yeah, and it's about $$$ too.

Sarah said...

This whole thread is hilarious. We sold our Taurus so we could buy a Nissan in HI. Used. We bought an '09 Honda Odessey. Is there anything wrong with that?

Anonymous said...

hehe...Beavis...he said Barney Frank....

Greta said...

Loved it and have no issue with barney frank comment. He is a congressmen who had a lover on his payroll running a whore house. He lied while his democrat cronies made millions at freddie and fannie at our expense. He continues to lie today and his actions are leading to complete collapse of the economy. He goes down all the time so I have no issue with telling the truth. I would have only added he goes down only with the same model car.

It is a damn joke about a horrible person. I have seen far worse jokes about Catholics and the Pope.

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