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Gov't Looking Into Pro-Life Stealth Technology

The U.S. military is reportedly looking into state of the art stealth technology employed by pro-lifers at least once a year.

Said one Pentagon official: "Once a year on the same day they announce the time and the date they're going to have thousands of people march into Washington D.C. but every year they come and go without anyone even noticing them. It's quite amazing."

This is especially worrisome since the Department of Homeland Security previously labeled "opponents of abortion" as likely to engage in acts of terror.

This startling stealth capability is best shown by comparing the media's coverage of the Jon Stewart/Stephen Colbert rally that included live break-ins and extensive coverage by the media but there was hardly any mention at all of a pro-life rally attended by thousands more.

The Pentagon is reportedly looking into how these pro-lifers essentially invade a city without anyone noticing. Their hope is to employ such capability to update their own stealth ground attack maneuvers.

This pro-life operating capability has oddly become more effective the larger the crowds have become. In 1974, 20,000 people marched in the March for Life and were hardly noticed but in the past few years hundreds of thousands of pro-lifers have managed to enter the capitol of the United States of America without hardly any notice.

This invisibility seems to be effective on about 60% of the population, especially on the coasts.

An Ivy League researcher published a study of "Method of Anti-Choice Invisibility in the Physical Theory of Diffraction." The researcher attempted to interview pro-lifers for the paper but failed to locate even one, indicating that their stealth capabilities work exceedingly well on the coasts and on college campuses.

Oddly, liberal activists tend to have an exact opposite capability in that even if only a dozen anti-war or liberal activists show up anywhere with signs, it seems to attract the notice of all media organizations and the culture at large.

White House administration officials speaking on condition of anonymity said they're hoping that pro-lifers stealth capability proves so effective that perhaps pro-lifers might disappear the other 364 days a year.

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14 comments:

Anonymous said...

spot on!

Anonymous said...

Unfortunately, the stealth technology wouldn't work if there ever was a raid or a roundup of pro-lifers.

Lisa Graas said...

Dude. You rock.

Great Technology said...

interesting article .. according to my study of the technology .. thanks
best regards from indonesia

Gerry said...

FYI: I'm not disagreeing with your assessment about the coverage of the Marches for Life, but I did see a Reuters photographer at the march (I was near the sidewalk where it started and took some (bad) video). (Who looks at Reuters anyway? I only knew to look for the report because I saw a Reuters jacket at the March.)

The Reuters report is here.

Sue said...

I'm with Lisa:-).

Matthew Siekierski said...

Anonymous #2, the cloaking technology would still work, just not the way we'd like. There would be no reports of any such rounding-up. In other words, the cloak would extend to those doing the raids, and it would be as if the raids didn't happen.

Anonymous said...

The following is a bit from a Monty Python skit (only some of the words have been changed for appropriateness).

(The door flies open and [3 Cardinals enter] Cardinal Ximinez of Spain, Cardinal Biggles and Cardinal Fang

Ximinez: NOBODY expects the Pro-Life Movement! Our chief weapon is surprise...surprise and fear...fear and surprise.... Our two weapons are fear and surprise...and ruthless efficiency.... Our *three* weapons are fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency...and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope.... Our *four*...no... *Amongst* our weapons.... Amongst our weaponry...are such elements as fear, surprise.... I'll come in again.

(Exit and exeunt)

Reg: I didn't expect a kind of Spanish Inquisition.

(JARRING CHORD)

(The cardinals burst in)

Ximinez: NOBODY expects the Pro-Life Movement! Amongst our weaponry are such diverse elements as: fear, surprise, stealth technology, an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope, and nice red uniforms - Oh damn! (To Cardinal Biggles) I can't say it - you'll have to say it.

Biggles: What?

Ximinez: You'll have to say the bit about 'Our chief weapons are ...'

(see http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uprjmoSMJ-o for the original)

Fr. Larry said...

Very Funny!

Anonymous said...

I think William Shatner had something to do with it.

PapaDon said...

Everyone participating in the march is an angel...therefore nobody can see them.

Markindaup said...

There is media bias, of course, but I have to say that I was listening to NPR at the top of the hour on Monday, and they gave it 30 seconds or so in their headlines, briefly summarizing the pro-life aims, and they did not mention "pro-choice" counter-protestors, suprisingly.

Oneiric said...

It keeps amazing me that the politically dominant christian majority in the US can maintain this facade of victimization with such straight faces.

Del said...

To Oneiric...

Well, the powerfully dominant secular culture makes it easy for us. The minority of guys with cameras and dollars and guns are in charge.

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