Please Say This at My Funeral
I attended a funeral recently of a man I used to work with. Something happened there that got me thinking. I can't tell you how many Catholic funerals I've been to where I was assured that the deceased was with God in Heaven. And I wonder, why do we say this.
Here's the thing. Those in Purgatory need prayers. Lots of them. So we need people to pray, not be assured that their loved one is in Heaven.
Why do we take the players off the field just when they're needed? Here's what I want you guys to say at my funeral:
Matt Archbold was fairly despicable at times. He was meaner than he was kind, proud of his humility, and not all that nice to his family or friends. Vain. Sarcastic. Selfish. While these may be qualites of a good blogger, they do not bode well for sainthood.
We have no reason to suspect that Matt Archbold is in Heaven. In fact, I'd just about guarantee he's not. If God in his infinite mercy somehow allowed Matthew to enter Purgatory it would be a reflection of His mercy rather than any attributes Matt evidenced throughout his life.
Let us all assume, to be safe, that Matthew is in the bottom rung of Purgatory. Matthew's fingernails are firmly dug into a cliff at the furthest edge of the Purgatory city limits and he's hanging on there, his little feet dangling over Hell.
And the only way you can get him out of there and nearer to Heaven is through your prayers. Pray now. Pray on the ride home. Pray when you get home. Pray. Pray. Pray for days, weeks, and years to come. Please pray.
Matthew's salvation depends on you so even though Matthew has surely disappointed God and everyone he ever knew. Please don't disappoint him. He needs your prayers.
On the way out of Church, please sign up for the phone bank so you too can volunteer to call anyone who ever knew Matt to remind them to pray for him. Or you can sign up to go door to door asking people in your neighborhood to pray for Matt on a daily basis at around 6 p.m. (around dinnertime because that was Matt's favorite time of the day.) Please have some Masses said. Lots of them.
So vehement was Matt on this point he has instructed us to lock you all in the Church for 24 hours. After 24 hours of diligent prayer you will be allowed to leave after signing your promissory note to pray often for Matt's soul. That promissory note will be considered a legal contract and be notarized. If you fail to live up to your contract you will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.
In short, please pray as if Matthew's soul depended on it. Because it does.
40 comments:
YES YES YES....and one more YES
I love purgatory (I'm not a theologian- so I call it heaven's waiting room)
Funny, I've been saying this for years. PLEASE do not eulogize me, PRAY for me. Preach the Gospel to the living, because I'm dead and all my choices are made.
I'm having a copy of this added to my will, right under the part about which rap songs I want played at my funeral.
Thank you, Matt! This is really good stuff.
For years I prayed to God to rid me of my acme. Then I went to a demonologist, he gave me a prescription. I no longer have acme.
For years I prayed, I'd be rich. I played the lottery. Nothing happened. Then I earned a degree from a reputable university. I got a promotion and now I earn a decent salary.
For years I attended Sunday mass, praying to God my life would get better. Then one day instead of attending Mass, I took a elderly blind man shopping every Sunday for an hour. I felt a lot better about myself. I still take him shopping.
I learned not to be a follower, but a doer. I realize some people must be follower and pray, but not me.
Exactly how I feel! I hope my blog outlives me, because I explicitly stated my wishes there.
Basically...
1. Pray for me
2. Don't eulogize me at the funeral (a Facebook fan page would be enough)
4. Lots of incense
5. No "Eagles Wings" or I'm coming back to haunt you
Thanks for posting this Matt! A good reminder to pray for the deceased!
Jimmy, your post caught my eye - how did you know that your acme was caused by a demon? I'm glad to hear you found the appropriate professional to help you take care of it. Perhaps more prayer is in order!
I have been to some (too many!) funerals lately and it is really disturbing to hear that the deceased was a 'saint' and is 'in heaven'. I know at least one woman who would was very devout and would have been horrified to hear herself described this way.
I think people (even priests) say these things to try to make the living feel better, but frankly they just sound so foolish, esp. when the dead was MOST CERTAINLY NOT a saint.
For our family funerals, we have been fortunate enough to have been allowed the requiem mass where the entire purpose is to pray for the soul of the dead rather than make the living 'feel better'. And funny thing, the requiem does have that exact effect anyway.
Nice post, Thanks!
"Matthew's salvation depends on you ..."
No, it doesn't. If you're in Purgatory, your salvation is assured. Our prayers for the Church suffering are for the purpose of bringing to a quicker end their suffering by offering our prayers and sacrifices, as deficient as they are, for their sakes. Everyone in Purgatory is already saved and an heir to the Kingdom. Statements like this perpetuate a mis-understanding of the doctrine of Purgatory among Catholics and non-Catholics alike.
Jimmy, your lack of understanding of Christian prayer and spirituality is shaky ground for arguing your freedom from co-dependancy. If you don't know how to use a tool, it doesn't make you look smarter to those who do by claiming you don't need it after all.
Your post reminded me of a situation within my own family.
My father instructed my cousin that when he died she was to walk into the wake and in a loud voice exclaim, "Whadda ya mourning for? The SOB is finally dead!"
Unfortunately she was unable to make it.
But the intention was there.
And for goodness sake, we do NOT become ANGELS when we die!
Susan
I'm so glad I'm not the only one who gets aggravated by this.
It really rubs me the wrong way when people are "canonized" at there funeral.
I would had to ever tell a priest what to say in a homily, but I believe in this once instance, at my funeral, it would be fitting to leave a written request urging the priest to implore intercessory prayer, and to ask that people do not presume me to be in heaven.
One's salvation is not dependent on prayers while in Purgatory.
The Catechism of the Catholic Church says (emphasis mine):
1030 All who die in God's grace and friendship, but still imperfectly purified, are indeed assured of their eternal salvation; but after death they undergo purification, so as to achieve the holiness necessary to enter the joy of heaven.
1031 The Church gives the name Purgatory to this final purification of the elect, which is entirely different from the punishment of the damned.
This is great news. Prayer is NOT the only way out of Purgatory. Those in Purgatory are assured of heaven.
We pray to speed up the process of purification:
1475 In the communion of saints, "a perennial link of charity exists between the faithful who have already reached their heavenly home, those who are expiating their sins in purgatory and those who are still pilgrims on earth. between them there is, too, an abundant exchange of all good things." In this wonderful exchange, the holiness of one profits others, well beyond the harm that the sin of one could cause others. Thus recourse to the communion of saints lets the contrite sinner be more promptly and efficaciously purified of the punishments for sin.
Rather than telling family and friends to pray for your endangered salvation while in Purgatory, ask them to pray that you will more quickly be united with God in heaven.
Why be so selfish Matt, you bast@$d!
How about:
Matt's in hell. Don't pray for him, pray for yourselves! 'cause you're all, everyone of you, going to join him there if you don't get right with Christ! Do it NOW!
I think Jesus would smile on you for that one.
LOL! I love this post.
Outstanding!
I don't have to worry about being canonized at my funeral. If my brother continues his journey to the priesthood (which is very likely), it is he who will say my funeral mass (if he outlives me). If that is the case, there will be no sappiness or canonization - just laughter. My ornery little brother will tease and poke fun at me even when I'm dead. And if he does, I'll ask permission to leave purgatory so I can kick him in the shin!
I think I'll request one of his brother priests say the mass for my brother's sake and mine!
If anyone is editing comments, the one by Anonymous (5th post from the top) contains a link to a site containing pornographic stories and pictures. FYI...
Give it up, guys. Matt knows his SALVATION isn't dependent on your prayers, but his getting out of Purgatory and getting into Heaven before the stars have all burned out IS dependent on those prayers!! Don't nit-pick a really good and very needed post.
I am fairly sure that combox nitpickers will be right next to Matthew in purgatory, if they are lucky!
Any Mass we participate in "in the flesh" is worth a million celebrated for us while we are doing time in Purgatory.
I cottoned on to this post and sent it out to all my friends and children. Unless things change, and I will notify those same people as needed, assume that I get the sentence at my Particular Judgment what I deserve.
God is good all the time, but He is also Just.
We live in a very protestant area. Anytime, I even try to bring up the subject of purgatory, I get berated, insulted and made fun of. They don't agree, but if I even charitably try to explain it, the anger rises up. I've kind of given up.
I completely disagree with the OP and many of the comments here. Why? Because it's taking the judgment out of God's hands and putting it into our own. Purgatory brings me a great deal of comfort (I too think of all the things I'd like to be purged from). However, whether I go there or not, is not for me to assume or decide. By the time we each die, we may be ready to enter into heaven or we may all find ourselves in purgatory. The point is, we don't know. Regarding prayers, yes we should pray for everyone who has died, that they may find peace and refreshment. But this is true, not only for those who may think they'll be dangling over hell, but also those we judge to be in hell ie Hitler, Stalin, ect. I use the term 'judge' purposefully. Only God can judge Hitler or Stalin. Only He can judge Matthew, not Matthew and certainly not the person conducting his funeral. There is a difference between healthy discernment of one's sins and shortcomings and passing judgment on one's person. The prayer for the dead used at every mass, is a perfect prayer, precisely because it leaves the matter in God's hands: Be mindful,O Lord, of Thy servants and handmaids (names), who are gone before us with the sign of faith and who sleep the sleep of peace. To these, O Lord, and to all who rest in Christ, grant, we beseech Thee, a place of refreshment, light and peace. Through the same Christ our Lord. Amen
Remember Paul's words:
3 I care very little if I am judged by you or by any human court; indeed, I do not even judge myself. 4 My conscience is clear, but that does not make me innocent. It is the Lord who judges me. 5 Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time; wait till the Lord comes. He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of men’s hearts. At that time each will receive his praise from God. -1 Cor. 4
As for being assured that the deceased are with God in heaven. They are with God...and for me...that's heaven enough.
I was at my Grandpa's funeral, and it made me angry when the priest told everyone he thought we could assume that my Grandpa was in Heaven because, as far as he was concerned, he was a saint. I don't think he did my Grandpa any favors. He may still need Masses and prayers for him, for all we know, and he died back in 2005. Only God knows his soul perfectly.
And, Jimmy, maybe you feel better about yourself simply because you're doing something on Sunday that's more pleasant for you. IT doesn't make as many demands on you. It doesn't force you to confront yourself.
And praying IS doing. So is following. It all depends on Whom you're following, though. I don't think you picked the best leader.
dmliving,
How do you know what Matt know?
I don't know Matt from a hole in the wall, so I don't know what he knows. I do know that anyone who isn't Catholic, and many who are, and those who are hostile to Catholicism who read his statement will fail to properly understand the Catholic doctrine of Purgatory, a doctrine that belongs to the Church, not to Matt. He behooves him, then, to get it right.
Bottom line: the guy runs a blog, for pete's sake; he ought to know how to say what he means.
Hey Jimmy, you know, you can do both--it's not an either/or. :)
dmliving, Matthew's writing explicitly equated his salvation with the prayers of others while he is in Purgatory. From his post:
"Matthew's salvation depends on you so even though Matthew has surely disappointed God and everyone he ever knew. Please don't disappoint him. He needs your prayers."
Pointing out the misrepresentation of Catholic teaching is not nitpicking. (Although tone is hard to express in writing, my intent is charitable.) I'm a Catholic convert and the teaching of Purgatory was an issue I had to overcome because I erroneously thought that Purgatory was a second chance at heaven, but that is not what the Church teaches.
I still debate with other Evangelicals who maintain that Catholics believe Purgatory is a second chance at salvation. Unfortunately, this post perpetuates the incorrect belief. Evangelicals would see this post as confirmation that Catholics have it wrong on Purgatory.
I agree with Matthew that we should not prematurely canonize someone at their funeral. That was a good point, but he went wrong when he wrote that those in Purgatory are at risk of damnation.
So, will I be in Purgatory with Matthew if I'm lucky? Absolutely! And I will rejoice with him knowing that our salvation is assured at that time while we pray for the purification to be completed quickly.
Matt,
I don't comment here often, but your blog is in my RSS reader so I see all your posts. I enjoy your blog, but I had to point out the error in what was otherwise a good point.
Well, you know that heavy weight you feel hanging there on the cliff of purgaroty by your fingernails? Well, that is me hanging on to your shoelaces!
Yes, what I would like most from those who care about me is to have Masses said for my soul.
LOL, love your exhortation. I have thought for many years that I would want a family member to read a short statement from me right after the Mass ... to wit: "pray your knees off for me so I can get out of Purgatory before Martin Luther." I better go write it up pretty soon ... ain't gettin' any younger.
Thanks.
In all fairness to Matt. Salvation is a process and is not consumated until the resurrection. I don't think Matt is saying he is damned without our prayers, only that he's still in the process of being saved. But I could be wrong.
No one has ever been back to tell us about life after death. I think we are all going to experience the ultimate surprise!And I have faith that God calls my name only when God knows my time.And I also have faith that my merciful,infinitely loving,unfathomable God will take me into His arms and welcome me into His infinite embrace.And I don't know how right or wrong it is but I pray for those gone ahead of me at every Mass and in personal prayer,but I have never been compelled to dwell on where God is going to put me when he calls my name!
Hahaha..... Are you suggesting letting others do the work for you?... is this some sort of "holy welfare" ? ...... seriously, this was worth more than a few chuckles
; )
Most honest eulogy ever was for Jerry - alcoholic, manic-depressive, ill-tempered, and left the church - yet he had a big heart and truly hated his compulsively sinful ways. Anyway, the eulogy from his brother was short and sweet "everybody, just pray for him, pray for Jerry"
Chuckle all ya want...8pm Anonymous!You don't know any more than anyone else...that's why we struggle (@times) to have "faith" in the Mystery.If there IS such a thing as "holy welfare" GREAT! I think we can all use all the help we can get!!I know I can! Thanks!
don says I am a convert and recently learned that Catholic's are the only Christians that believe in purgatory?
I am very annoyed by all the people saying "Daddy is an angel" and such. An angel?? Seriously?? And sometimes from people who know better, for example with a seminary degree. Ugh.
I am a consistent fan of the site, but this piece is wrong-headed sloganeering. Presumption is wrong, absolutely. It abounds at weak funerals.
Sure hope is not. We trust in God's mercy, and consign loved ones to his love. So we pray for speedy purgatorial suffering so those already promised heavenly reward, those giving allegiance to Jesus, can more quickly experience perfect communion with the Lord. Hanging on to a cliff by fingernails? No. We die either destined for Heaven or Hell. No eternal destinies are decided in Purgatory, just worked out. We get to participate, but should not lose sleep over the volume of prayers be offered for a favorite departed.The Protestant evangelist is closer to the truth here than thou. Both Ratzinger and Peter Kreeft have good writings on this subject.
DITTO, Matt. I say exactly what you said, but not so eloquently, at every funeral I attend where all this sappy gushing takes place. Of course, I'm old enough to remember funerals when the priest wore black & folks were allowed to mourn. I know that's the old days...
I always think of the priest who was St John Vianney's mentor (can't remember his name). Before he died, he gave John V his discipline & told him to destroy it. He said if people knew it was his, they'd assume he went to heaven & he'd end up in purgatory until the end of time!
I know protestants hate this kind of discussion but I tell them purgatory just makes sense. We obviously cannot go to heaven in the state most of us are when we die. If so, heaven would be just like earth and I am really hoping for something better than this!!
Post a Comment