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Euthanoodle - Let's Poison Ramen Noodles

In what will surely become one of the most infamous comments ever made about abortion, Rep. Gwen Moore of Wisconsin said yesterday that it is better to have an abortion than make a child be forced to live “eating Ramen noodles” and “mayonnaise sandwiches.”

So the CMR Institute for Advanced Suicidal Studies is now endorsing a plan for the government to poison all stocks of Ramen noodles so that the poor souls eating Ramen Noodles will find a merciful and quick end to their miserable existence.

CMR is calling this new form of euthanasia via noodles "THE EUTHANOODLE." (Patent pending)

The way CMR and Gwen Moore see it is we're doing them a favor because they don't even realize that their lives aren't worth living. The poor dears are so ignorant and clearly don't make enough money that we can even hand out Ramen noodles for free to people who look like Ramen noodle people, if you know what I mean. That way we can feel good about ourselves for our charity and they can feel...dead.

Hopefully CMR's endorsement of the euthanoodle will encourage others to have Ramen Noodle Parties where they'd invite the people they suspect of being miserable or living lives not worth living. Or if someone you know sometimes struggles at the end of a paycheck to feed their children, make it a EUTHANOODLE night.

Remember, they're better off dead than eating oriental pasta.

Come on America, let's EUTHANOODLE our way back to prosperity by ridding ourselves of anyone who might go hungry.

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Midday said...

I'm sorry, is there something wrong with mayonnaise sandwiches? That was one of my childhood favorites, on Wonder Bread (with the crusts cut off, naturally).

Sarcastic Fantastic said...

This will ensure the extinction of the species known as Collegetus Freshmanicus.

Saint Michael Come To Our Defense said...

Food Inc.

A good video on the genetic manipulation of food.


Lori said...

You wanna talk about the effects of poverty? What about being forced to eat TUNA AND NOODLES all the time when I was growing up, because my parents couldn't afford anything else?

Tuna and noodle casserole! I rest my case. I obviously should have been aborted to save me from a life of pain.

I wonder if that Rep. knows how ridiculous she sounds?

Jen Z said...

What?!?!?! My kids LOVE ramen noodles, because it is a treat - we eat healthy foods and they go nuts when I buy a 6 pack of cup o noodles - so on days like today when I'm feeling sick, they can have a fast lunch. I'm terribly confused. LOL... Euthanoodle, patent pending... I hope a certain dem from Wisconsin, land of peace and prosperity, is the first consumer.

Wayne said...

Yes, those poor souls who can't even afford to buy an American product such as Macaroni and Cheese. They probably aren't all that into our country anyway...it's a win, win. They don't have to suffer and nobody else has to go on the "terror suspects" list.

Anonymous said...

Kobe Beef or Bust!

Mary De Voe said...

This person's philosophy is predicated on insulating her and her kind from experiencing compassion and/or mercy of Christ. She is an atheist and has forfeited her citizenship by repudiating the Declaration of Independence. The whole concept that life is to be administered by the administration rather than OUR CREATOR, WHO is the endower of life and all UNALIENABLE rights of LIFE, LIBERTY AND THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS is tyranny, totalitarianism. Life is the provence of the will of God. When gene mapping became available around 1970 80, it was suggested that aborting a woman to spare her cancer when she becomes 70 years old was presented as a "cure" to save her the pain of cancer. Much breast cancer is cured by aborting the baby before the child is born. How dare they "OWN" persons, before and after birth. Ask that woman if she has a medical license. Since when is poverty a crime warranting death?...and do not give the Chinese anymore ideas for poisoning us, that is treason.

Paul Zummo said...

I eat ramen or related instant soups pretty much every day. I earn what would be considered a more than sufficient wage. Alas, according to Moore my mother should have taken her doctor's advice and aborted me.

Anthony S. Layne said...

Y'know, all Rep. Moore's next opponent needs to do next year is print off a couple hundred thousand signs and run some ten-second spots on TV and radio featuring those words. Guaranteed victory.

Rick said...

If women have to kill their child so that they can eat at McDonalds, then this nation has achieved third world statis. Thanks to Obama and the Democrats.

Adrienne said...

Matthew - Thanks. I haven't laughed so hard in weeks. Funny, funny, funny! Did I mention it was funny? It was...

Blackrep said...

Wisconsin is a black hole of liberal madness. Few escape its beery, cheesy vortex.

I am a relatively prosperous person, and one of my children adores BOTH ramen noodles and bread with mayonnaise.

She is my skinniest child, if you are wondering, O Wisconsin Cheesebrain Noodle Nazis.

Sue said...

Is the Mayonaisse going to be called "Mercy Murder Mayonaisse," creamy goodness to put you out of your misery once and for all, because you deserve it.

Anonymous said...

The Pence Amendment passed the House!!!!

matthew archbold said...

Sue, We don't mess with the creamy goodness of Mayonaisse. Leave it alone. Leave it alone.

Anonymous said...

We can certainly afford to feed my children nutritious lunches. But much to my dismay, my husband introduced them to Ramen about two years ago and the poor dears do not know how deprived they are when they choose to eat Ramen for lunch. They think their mother is indulging them with a treat!

Nan said...

You won't need no euthanoodles; Michelle Obama is in cahoots with Mayor Bloomberg. They'll be gone due to excessively high sodium content.

I guess Rep. Moore is unfamiliar with the concepts of subsidized school lunches for poor kids, food shelves, food stamps and coupon clipping.

The Watcher said...

I'm from Wisconsin, and I can speak from experience that: 1) Gwen Moore and sanity are polar opposites, 2) not ALL of us are black-hole liberals, and 3)when our loopy-loo Dems feel oppressed, they head for what they believe to be safe ground - Illinois.

Karen M. Patrick said...

Maybe it's because I grew up in a lower class single parent household, but I don't see what's wrong with ramen noodles. I mean it's not my favorite, but when I was little my mom worked for the State of Kansas which is known for not being punctual about paying it's employees and it was food. My sister and I ate at school and we could always count on grandma for a big sunday dinner. We managed and we always knew we were loved, that has got to count for something.

Renee said...

Simply an observation, but can we take note some of our favorite 'comfort foods' are really cheap eats.

Here is a list from home cooking.

• Chicken Pot Pie
• Chicken Soup
• Chili
• Chocolate Chip Cookies
• Corn on the Cob
• Fried Chicken
• Gelatin
• Green Bean Casserole
• Hot Dogs
• Ice Cream
• Macaroni & Cheese
• Mashed Potatoes
• Meatloaf
• Potato Salad
• Pumpkin Pie
• Shepherd's Pie
• Spaghetti
• Tomato Soup
• Tuna Casserole

Mary De Voe said...

@Renee: Miracle Whip and sliced beet sandwiches are the best and I though tomato sandwiches with mayonaise were the best and remember the pinto beans. Ramen noodles have a bit much additives...read the ingredients. The convenience is spectacular. However, American noodle makers have caught up with pre-cooked noodles. Buy American

Dan said...

As one who has the great misfortune to be represented by the repulsive Welfare Mama-turned-Congressman, Gwen Moore, I can tell you that idiotic remarks trip off her tongue with boring regularity, so it was no surprise to me to read what she said. An ignoramus generally doesn't feel the need to think too deeply on things.

One who responded, Mr Anthony Lane, suggests that if we could but let the public know the things she says she would be defeated in the next election. I'm very much afraid that that is an exercise in wishful thinking. It has long been said - especially about the district she covers - that if Satan himself ran in that district he would be elected as long as he ran as a Democrat. That is the safest of safe Democratic seats and even a trained ape running as a Democrat could get elected there.

Come to think of it, I believe that's what happened.

Mrs. Zummo said...

Raman noodle is darn good stuff. At work, we had a Taiwanese intern ewho introduced us to "gourmet" ramen, the stuff they sell at the Asian grocery store. It's much better. More expensive at about 50-75cents a pack, and you have to guess at the flavor by reading the ingredients list. Throw in some chopped veggies and an egg, and it's pretty nutritious. And you can still get lunch for under $1.

Anonymous said...

I love Ramen noodles and I'm a wealthy person who doesn't pay taxes.

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