Cardinal Invites Devil To Fundraiser
Cardinal Baffling of Gotham City has staunchly right-wing Catholics foaming at the mouth after his invitation to the Devil to attend a Catholic fundraiser.
Ultra-conservative Catholic groups have criticized Cardinal Baffling for extending an invitation to Mr. Satan for the "Jesus Saves Dinner." The annual dinner is dedicated to raising funds and awareness for those committed to saving souls from Hell.
"The invitation is an outrage and completely undermines the message and the cause of the dinner," says Mr. Incredulous of the Catholic League of People Opposing the Devil. Mr. Incredulous continued, "How can Cardinal Baffling say on the one hand that he and the Church oppose the Devil and all his works, and then at the same time invite that very same Devil to a Catholic event? It makes no sense!"
Diocese of Gotham spokesman, Muhammad Saeed al-Sahhaf, responded by saying "This is a non-Partisan event and if the Devil is willing to attend a Catholic fundraiser, the Cardinal is happy to have him. Gotham Cardinals have a history of inviting both sides in the ongoing dialogue between good and evil."
The spokesperson for the Leadership Conference of Women Religious, Sister Infedelia L.G.B.T., applauded the invitation. "We think it is wonderful that the Cardinal invited Mr. Satan to the dinner. It just goes to show what we have been saying all along. That you can embrace something at the same time you say you oppose it."
Others disagree.
"How does it help the cause to have the Cardinal have an all-smiles photo-op with the Devil when the Cardinal is supposed to be locked in an all-hands battle against the Devil to save souls?" said ultra-right-wing conservative Catholic blogger Patrick Archbold. "Doesn't he think the Devil will happily distribute that picture to everyone to show that the Catholic Church is not really opposed to the Devil after all? Of course he will! He's the Devil!"
Mr. Saeed al-Sahhaf says that the dinner "is an evening to put politics aside and come together in a spirit of civility. After all, this is a light-hearted event."
As if to confirm this statement, the Devil could be heard laughing.
Ultra-conservative Catholic groups have criticized Cardinal Baffling for extending an invitation to Mr. Satan for the "Jesus Saves Dinner." The annual dinner is dedicated to raising funds and awareness for those committed to saving souls from Hell.
"The invitation is an outrage and completely undermines the message and the cause of the dinner," says Mr. Incredulous of the Catholic League of People Opposing the Devil. Mr. Incredulous continued, "How can Cardinal Baffling say on the one hand that he and the Church oppose the Devil and all his works, and then at the same time invite that very same Devil to a Catholic event? It makes no sense!"
Diocese of Gotham spokesman, Muhammad Saeed al-Sahhaf, responded by saying "This is a non-Partisan event and if the Devil is willing to attend a Catholic fundraiser, the Cardinal is happy to have him. Gotham Cardinals have a history of inviting both sides in the ongoing dialogue between good and evil."
The spokesperson for the Leadership Conference of Women Religious, Sister Infedelia L.G.B.T., applauded the invitation. "We think it is wonderful that the Cardinal invited Mr. Satan to the dinner. It just goes to show what we have been saying all along. That you can embrace something at the same time you say you oppose it."
Others disagree.
"How does it help the cause to have the Cardinal have an all-smiles photo-op with the Devil when the Cardinal is supposed to be locked in an all-hands battle against the Devil to save souls?" said ultra-right-wing conservative Catholic blogger Patrick Archbold. "Doesn't he think the Devil will happily distribute that picture to everyone to show that the Catholic Church is not really opposed to the Devil after all? Of course he will! He's the Devil!"
Mr. Saeed al-Sahhaf says that the dinner "is an evening to put politics aside and come together in a spirit of civility. After all, this is a light-hearted event."
As if to confirm this statement, the Devil could be heard laughing.
25 comments:
LOL... AWESOME
Cardinal Baffling put Party (Democrat) over Principle (Catholic religoius freedom) Why is anyone surprised? Is it because it took this long for him to do so?
I know that right now the Devil hasn't compromised at all on any issue, and one might even argue has a plan to subvert the Church and have everyone start worshiping him, but surely that's no reason not to be civil and tolerant.
I don't know whether to laugh or cry...but I'm posting it on Facebook.
This year's dinner is more than just a dinner. It was an opportunity...and the devil took it.
I wonder if Cardinal Dolan looks a little like Adam did just after taking a bite of that apple.
Woe to us all.
Disgusted and disappointed.
EXORCISM. Nothing less than exorcism. The dinner will consist of swine. When the devil enters the swine, the swine will rise up from their plates and run headlong into the East River and drown. Better take along a peanutbutter and jelly sandwich.
If Obama is there, our Jewish brethern will be served swine and there will not an exchange of ideas. So,let it be written, so let it be done.
The devil has no soul. The devil is an evil spirit, more cunning and more powerful than the will of man without God, and Obama is serving the free will of man up to the devil. What's to worry about? HELL?
Ye of little faith:
I have every confidence that the Cardinal has a PLAN. You must have some patience and some trust. Pray, wait, and see.
AnnF
Mary De Voe,
You have a phantasmagoric imagination. Wow. Awesome. I sense you grasp the enormous evil of this "invitation", if indeed the Cardinal does it with the misguided sense of extending an olive branch.
As I said, "my head is exploding". This defies reason. Does Satan have the Cardinal under his sway?
God has his plan:
...and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it.
However, I cringe at the thought of seeing the unavoidable media picture of Cardinal and President sharing a jolly laugh together which will only give more cover for the NCReporter types to continue to act like its no big deal to support and promote the Pary of Death, yes thats you Democrats. Repubs aint perfect but at least they don't promote the slaughter of 54MM unborn children, redefining the Sacrement of Marriage, and a HHS manadate that will keep our schools, hospitals, soup kitchens, etc from doing the Corporal Works of Mercy in the Land of Free and Home of the Brave.
Prayer is our Weapon, use it.
If the big O comes, he will probably write a check for $3.00 and think he is being o-so-generous. I hope there is plenty of holy salt to sprinkle on the tables. Unbelievable! This admin, if it wins the election, will probably put Catholic Charities out of business. BTW is Catholic Charities paying the mandate as of August 1?
Sister Infedelia L.G.B.T has subsequently announced her appointment to the National Board for Reconciliation of Good and Evil, which Board will announce the recipient of its Annual Baron von Mandeville Award at the Dinner.
“I prefer to host my teenager’s beer party. They’re going to drink anyway … at least I can monitor the situation (and all the kids will think I’m soooo cool)”
I’m so tired of the proverbial “cool parent” syndrome among the clergy! When will we start choosing what’s the "better part" over what makes us the most popular?
@ AnnF
AUGUST 8, 2012 1:41 PM
Ann, this would have been a reasonable point before the decision of (then) Archbishop Dolan to leave town and attend to business at the USCCB, when they gay marriage push was in its critical hour.
The (then) Archbishop assured us in the aftermath of this disaster that his advisors had assured him that the bill would not pass.
It appears His Eminenece is still listening to the same advisors.
The truth hurts doesn't it
Here's the e-mail I sent to the Al Smith Foundation:
No president has ever done more to hurt Catholics. From his attack on religious freedom, to his vote against the Born Alive Infant Protection Act, to his distortion of the Catholic Faith with his team of Catholics campaigners in the 2008 election.
Christ interacted with welcomed sinners, as we all are. But he never gave platforms out to them to confuse the issues at hand.
The average voter will see the news clips afterwards and think everything is resolved between President Obama and the Catholic Church.
When our prelates showcase politicians such as Barack Obama, and give him a platform (similar to what Fr. Jenkins did at ND,) it makes the pro-life rank and file and those who fight for Catholic principles think we are fools.
I have been a huge supporter of Cardinal Dolan, but I am a lesser one today.
Has anyone considered that maybe Cardinal Dolan knows something that we don't know, and that maybe the time we spend second guessing and armchair quarterbacking would be better spent on our knees praying for Cardinal Dolan and all of our bishops and priests in this critical hour? Has anyone considered Matthew 10:16, as well as James 3:5-12?
It makes me feel almost betrayed.
Unlike the devil, Obama still has a soul that needs to be saved. I don't like what Card. Dolan did. I think that it does more damage than good. But he will answer to God about his actions and I for mine.
I'll wait and see. If he does something stupid that makes Catholics think Obama is not that bad, then I think the Vatican will speak out. If he does something clever and exposes the sophistry, hypocrisy and evil in Obama's ways, then I shall post the videos everywhere and Romney becomes a shoe in. If he converts Obama into changing his ways, then everyone wins.
When President Marcos invited Cardinal Sin to his birthday, Cardinal Sin attended the event and even led the birthday song. He sat next to Marcos and in with his usual wit tried to be like Nathan is to David.
Then again, Marcos had an iron grip on that country and the Church had to be careful. Doesn't square at all fours, I know, but shows how our community thrives and adapts - abroad then, here now.
Since this issue has been brought up,there is alot of division between we Catholics,am sure this is the time to PRAY AND FAST to stick in the FAITH we proclaim each day in Church,some of us are insulting people of devil ,who are we to judge???ONLY GOD CAN JUDGE. Please let's really pray ,there is already alot of misunderstandings between us and that is the plan of the devil,instead of there insulting people ,we need to pray that GOD help forgive them and make them change their mind,insulting or querelling will not change something but PRAYER CAN CHANGE SOMETHING
Actually, both Cardinal Dolan and the White House aren't saying if the president has been invited to the fundraiser. And with this administration, you know that if Obama had been invited he'd be shouting it from the rooftops, not trying to keep his invitation status hush-hush. We should have a little more faith in and respect for Cardinal Dolan. He knows what he's doing.
Dr. Pangloss! Dr. Pangloss! You're wanted in surgery for a spinectomy - STAT!
JOB
I hear that dog is a dish best served cold.
Post a Comment