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The Atheist and the Bear

This joke isn't mine but it's just funny and it made me laugh this afternoon.

An atheist was walking through the woods. "What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!" he said to himself. Suddenly he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him and he turned to see a 7 foot grizzly charging towards him.

He ran as fast as he could up the path. But when he looked over his shoulder he saw the bear was closing in on him fast. He tripped and fell on the ground and in a moment the bear was right on top of him, raising his right paw to strike him.

At that instant the Atheist cried out: "Oh my God!..." Time stopped. The bear froze. The forest was silent.

A bright light shone upon the man and a voice came out of the sky: "You deny my existence for all of these years, teach others I don't exist, and even credit creation to a cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?"

The atheist looked directly into the light and said, "Well I don't really like the whole Christianity thing and I don't really want to become a Christian, but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian?"

"Very well," said the voice. The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And then the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together and bowed his head and spoke: "Lord, bless this food, which I am about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen."

*subhead*Ha.*subhead*

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4 comments:

Suzanne Carl said...

I like that one, here;s one My brother the engineer sent... To tha lawyers in the family!
What happens when an Engineer goes to Hell...

An engineer dies and reports to the Pearly Gates.

Saint Peter checks his dossier and, not seeing his name there, accidentally sends him to Hell.

It doesn't take long before the engineer becomes rather dissatisfied with the level of comfort in Hell.

He soon begins to design and build improvements.

Shortly thereafter, Hell has air conditioning, flush toilets and escalators.

Needless to say, the engineer is a pretty popular guy.

One day, God calls Satan and says: "So, how are things in Hell?"

Satan replies: "Hey, things are going great. We've got air conditioning,
flush toilets, and escalators.

And there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next."

"What!" God exclaims: "You've got an engineer?

That's a mistake - he should never have been sent to Hell. Send him to me."

"Not a chance," Satan replies: "I like having an engineer on the staff, and
I'm keeping him!"

God insists: "Send him back or I'll sue."

Satan laughs uproariously and answers: "Yeah, right. And where are you going
to get a lawyer?

matthew archbold said...

That's a good one.

Myriad said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mary De Voe said...

@Suzanne Carl: Over at The American Catholic.

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