Vatican Suddenly Cool and Popular

Who’d a thunk that the path to popularity among liberals was so easy. Hey, the Church hasn’t exactly been asked to sign everyone’s yearbook recently. The Church hasn’t been in the cool crowd for decades and doesn’t get invited to the cool parties.

But suddenly the cool crowd that for so long mocked the Church is now macking the Church. Big time. They’ve developed a newfound respect for the deep thinking of the Vatican.

It’s kinda’ like that moment in the movies when the geeky girl loses the glasses and pops open a few buttons and everyone all of a sudden sees she’s gorgeous. Yeah, it’s kinda’ like that. But different.

CNBC reports:

The Vatican called on Monday for the establishment of a “global public authority” and a “central world bank” to rule over financial institutions that have become outdated and often ineffective in dealing fairly with crises.

A major document from the Vatican’s Justice and Peace department should be music to the ears of the “Occupy Wall Street” demonstrators and similar movements around the world who have protested against the economic downturn.

The 18-page document, “Towards Reforming the International Financial and Monetary Systems in the Context of a Global Public Authority,” was at times very specific, calling, for example, for taxation measures on financial transactions.

But if you’re expecting Pope Benedict to start dressing way cooler and joining the hippies on Occupy Wall Street, it might not be happening soon.

What the media is calling THE VATICAN!!!!! in the headline, is actually just a report from the Vatican’s Justice and Peace department.

But that’s overshadowed because of the awesomenessity of their proposal which is like music to leftist ears. The report called for the establishment of “a supranational authority” with worldwide scope and “universal jurisdiction” to guide economic policies and decisions.

Here’s the thing “supranational authorities” are great, aren’t they? They always work out well here on Earth. Never any problems with “supranational authorities,” right?

Hey, Pope Benedict is so cool right now among the left that I’m betting even the Pope’s red shoes will be seen as cool. I’m not one for picking out the next fashion trend but I’m thinking we got a winner here. If you’ve got extra cash lying around, you might wanna’ invest in red shoes.

I’m just excited because I haven’t been a member of a cool group since I joined the Dungeons and Dragons club junior year. What?!

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