A Disillusioned 7 Year Old's First Shower

My seven year old boy has been bugging me to shower instead of taking a bath for a few days now. Now, there's the kind of bugging that normal human beings are capable of. But this pales in comparison to the level of bugging that a seven year old can levy against your sanity.

Pleaaaaaaase. Pleaaaaaase. Pleeeeeease. I'll clean my room. I'll eat everything on my plate. Pleaaaaase. Pleeeeease.

So finally last night I relented. Sure, you can start showering.

"OK!!!!!!" He starts jumping up and down. "Yes." He's pumping his fist. And then starts the "I'm gonna' shower. I'm gonna' shower" song which is accompanied by a little celebratory dance.

He was excited.

He asked me just to stay in the bathroom and tell him what to do.


So he gets in the shower as I'm telling him that his little celebration dance can't happen in the shower because it's too slippery. He looks at me like, "What kind of lunatic would dance in the shower?"

I instruct him to wet his hair, shampoo, run his head under the water, repeat, take out the soap and wash your whole body, rinse, and turn off the water.

The water's off and he's standing in the tub dripping wet and I've got the towel in my hand. But he's not smiling. He looks deep in thought.

What's up? I asked.

"Sooooo...taking a shower is just like taking a bath but standing up?" he asks, his face looking sad and confused.

"Uhm. Yeah," I responded.

"So what was I all excited about?"

I don't know.

"That kinda' stinks," he said.

On the way to school this morning he asked if he could take a bath tonight instead of a boring old shower. Pleaaaaaaase. Pleaaaaaase. Pleeeeeease. I'll clean my room. I'll eat everything on my plate. Pleaaaaase. Pleeeeease.
*subhead*The first shower.*subhead*


  1. Well, to quote Larry the Cable Guy, "THAT'S funny, I don't care who you are!"

  2. Haha! Reminds me of that awful fruit roll ups commercial that i either have to fast forward through, or bring out the "if you try that, YOU will not get anything, no matter what the commercial says " speech. Lol.

  3. So funny. My son gives his kids what he calls prison showers when they are uncooperative. Of course, he went to The Citadel, so he isn't near as nice as you!

  4. Teaching my almost-six-year-old to shower is actually on tonight's to-do list. My goals for this year are that he learns to tie his shoes, take a shower, and fix a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

  5. When I was growing up we didn't have a shower - until the late 50s we only had a big galvanized washtub -- so it was always a treat, on our annual family vacation, to stay at a motel that had one. It was probably the one time we kids looked forward to getting clean.


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