Man Sues Church, Blames Divorce on Pealing Church Bells

A man is blaming the Catholic Church for his divorce. He says the Church bells made him nuts, leading to his divorce, and now he's taking the Church to federal court to silence church bells from a neighboring Catholic church.

CBS reports that the 64 year old man blames the bells of St. Thomas More Catholic Parish for his divorce and is asking the court to order the church to reduce the number of times the bells sound.

He said that the bells only started sounding loudly six years after he and his then wife moved into the neighborhood almost twenty years ago. He states that the bells go off about 700 times a week and this caused "emotional distress, bad moods and arguments with his wife." I'm sure her leaving had nothing to do with him. I'm sure it was the bells.

(The old man is not John McCain but I went online looking for "angry old man" and that came up and I said, 'hey that kinda' fits.")

The Diocese of Providence called the amount of bell ringing "reasonable" and "within its rights." And they said the man attacks and harasses worshippers at the Church."

So it sounds like the guy isn't only having a few difficulties with his wife. He's expanded his anger universe to passers-by and Catholics in general. The diocese said they'll pray for him.

*subhead*Get off my lawn.*subhead*


  1. "pealing" is the word you want. Bells are not oranges.

  2. I'm trying to imagine the sound of pealing oranges.

  3. Reminds me of the Monty Python Sketch.....

    (Sound: Church bells, lots of them, ringing.)

    Man: I wish those bloody bells would stop.

    Wife: Oh, it's quite nice dear, it's Sunday, it's the church.

    M: What about us atheists? Why should we 'ave to listen to that sectarian turmoil?

    W: You're a lapsed atheist, dear.

    M: Anyway, when I membership card and blazer badge back from the League of Agnostics, I shall urge the executive to lodge a protest against that religious racket!

    M: If only we had some kind of missile, we could take the steam out of those bells.

    W: Well, you could always use the number 14-St. Joseph-the-somewhat- divine-on-the-hill ballistic missile. It's in the attic.

    M: What ballistic missile would this be, then?

    (Sound: Bells begin to get increasingly louder)

    W: I made it for you, it's your birthday present!

    M: Just what I wanted, 'ow nice of you to remember, my pet.

    (Sound: Missle launch, explosion, bells diminish)

    M: Did I 'it it?

    W: Yes, right up the aisle.

    M: Well I've always said, There's nothing an agnostic can't do if he really doesn't know whether he believes in anything or not.

  4. He's right, bells can be downright aggravating.

    We should switch to bagpipes.

  5. "700 times a week?" That's 100 times a day. That's every 15 min around the clock. Somehow I think there is a little bit of exaggeration going on.


Post a Comment