Pro-Abortion Website Declares "Cool Pope" Not So Cool After All

Jezebel, the pro-abortion website, is sad (sigh!) that Pope Francis turned out to be Catholic. The headline blares "'Cool' Pope Decries Abortion, Reminds Us Why Popes Are Not So Cool."

I think if you're not named Arthur Fonzarelli or 13 years old, you probably shouldn't worry all that much about being cool. Just sayin'.

Oh, Pope Francis. We're all trying so hard to be into you—despite the fact that you are the figurehead of a historically oppressive international corporation that shelters pedophiles, stigmatizes safe sex, and encourages the mass marginalization of women and gay people—so why don't you just go all the way and really BE the progressive pope you've been cosplaying this whole time? Why do you have to get all POPEY on us with this anti-abortion shit? Hmph.

In his annual "state of the world" speech today, the pontiff explained that abortion is a "frightful" symptom of our culture's widespread wastefulness. In other words, to callous modern women, terminating a pregnancy has exactly the same impact as throwing away a used Clorox wipe with a pube on it. Cool minimization of both the reasons why women seek abortions and the emotional repercussions of those decisions, bro! Apparently the only things unimportant enough to justify throwing away are women's health, futures, and autonomy...

Look. Abortion is not a contentious issue—not really. Either you believe women have the right to control their own bodies or you don't. Where you stand on that is where you stand on that, whether you're a cool pope or not. Right now, you're not.

None of this is the least bit surprising (the pope is anti-abortion!!?!?!?!?!?!?), but the beautiful pipe dream of Cool Pope has been fun while it lasted. So thanks, Pope Francis, for the reminder that even the best pope is still a pope.
I know that many leftists are still kinda' hoping that Pope Francis is pro-life in the way that Obama was for traditional marriage in 2008, which is to say -not at all. They're hoping he's just saying that human life is sacred is a ploy so we don't freak out while he "brings the Church into the 21st century" or makes the Church cool. Or something.



  1. The left only has only so many crowbars to use to leverage the Pope's words into what they want to hear. He's evil, archaic, and anti-woman in 3...2...1...

  2. Scott-King: "I think it would be very wicked indeed to do anything to fit a boy for the modern world."

    Headmaster: "It's a short-sighted view, Scott-King."

    Scott-King: "There, headmaster, with all respect, I differ from you profoundly. I think it the most long-sighted view it is possible to take."

    - "Scott-King's Modern Europe," short story, Evelyn Waugh, 1946

  3. Because being Pope is all about being cool.

  4. Jezebel embodies the 20/30-something feminist far-leftist mindset. Reading articles from that site makes you want pour bleach on your brain to erase everything you just read.

  5. That's okay. He'll be cool again next October when Aunt Divorced Tilly who "married" nice Uncle Billy can go to back to Communion.

  6. The common thread on abortion and remarriage after divorce is the human soul, the rational, immortal human soul. No matter what the Pope says, the human soul has and knows and acknowledges the truth and the truth will set you free. Herodius had St. John the Baptist's head because Herodius knew she was living against the truth, living a lie, living a sin. St John only reminded Herodius of that which she really wanted to avoid, forget and escape. Killing St. John did not help her escape.
    Killing an innocent baby for the crimes and immorality of his parents eradicates Justice. These same souls screaming for a woman's right to terminate an unborn human life for the crimes of his parents are the first souls militating for Justice. I hope these souls get Justice, don't you?. Let the Pope be holy, the Pope's holiness belongs to God.

  7. I am a big fan of two things from the original article...
    Restating someone else's claim in a way that completely alters the meaning. I'm talking to you ms. Clorox wipes.
    And the oversimplification of an argument distinguishing an us versus them, where 'them' are only give a n indefensible option.
    Well played. Except I avoid playing. I will frame my own arguments thank you. But nice slash piece. It was all the intellectualism I would expect from....who was that again??


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