Bloomberg Says He'll March Straight Into Heaven

Former NYC Mayor Michael Bloomberg says his salvation is assured because of his work on obesity...or something. What a tool.

This from the NY Times:
Mr. Bloomberg was introspective as he spoke, and seemed both restless and wistful. When he sat down for the interview, it was a few days before his 50th college reunion. His mortality has started dawning on him, at 72. And he admitted he was a bit taken aback by how many of his former classmates had been appearing in the “in memoriam” pages of his school newsletter.

But if he senses that he may not have as much time left as he would like, he has little doubt about what would await him at a Judgment Day. Pointing to his work on gun safety, obesity and smoking cessation, he said with a grin: “I am telling you if there is a God, when I get to heaven I’m not stopping to be interviewed. I am heading straight in. I have earned my place in heaven. It’s not even close.”
Humility was never his thing.

*subhead*No interview.*subhead*


  1. Im not sure what Im more impressed with: the 'if he exists' or the ignoring any the open support of countless mortal sins and focusing on some quaint social program as if God is a dietician.

  2. Pelagian.

    When he speaks of God, did he mean the President?

  3. Bloomberg will have to face the 55 million aborted souls and their Guardian Angels at the pearly gates. 55 million and one, Bloomberg's own Guardian Angel whom he discarded and sent back to God.

  4. Mr. Bloomberg - you won't need your coat in the afterlife.


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