Priest Warns Against LEGOS

A priest in Poland is warning that LEGO's are from Satan. I kind of agree. LEGOS are a danger. My kids play with them a lot and they get everywhere. Have you ever stepped on a LEGO? It's bad. Now imagine stepping on a whole bunch of them barefoot in the dark. They're like landmines for your feet. I can't help but picture my children placing them strategically.

"OK, when the old man steps on the blue piece he'll jump up, twist slightly to the left and his right foot will land about here...where the red piece will be waiting."

Now, I know my kids aren't smart enough or patient enough to actually do that but it feels like it when I'm being tortured by LEGOS.

Guys like Neil Armstrong can boast having walked on the moon but I've seen the "alleged" video of them walking on what they call "the moon" and it seems pretty easy and floaty and nice to me. Try walking on LEGOS and living to tell about it, Mr. Armstrong. Try that.

I just don't understand why they don't just make gummy LEGOS. Would it be that hard?

But it turns out that the priest's concerns with LEGOS are a little different than mine.

The Telegraph reports:
In a presentation aimed at parents, Father Slawomir Kostrzewa said the popular Danish toy company had taken a lurch to the dark side with its series of Monster Fighters and Zombie mini-figures, and that they "were about darkness and the world of death".

"Friendly fellows have been replaced by dark monsters," he explained. "These toys can have a negative effect on children. They can destroy their souls and lead them to the dark side."

Lego's Monster Fighters range features Lord Vampyre, a fanged Dracula-like character, who battles the likes of Doctor Rodney Rathbone and Major Quinton Steele as they try to prevent him from "cloaking the world in darkness".
Look, it seems to me that when kids play with dolls or action figures one of the action figures is going to be the good guys and the other one's going to be the bad guy. For me, I'd rather have the bad LEGOS sporting mean faces. I think it would be unsettling for the bad guys to look like happy go lucky firefighter LEGO. I'll take Lord Vampyre any day to be the bad guy.

Hey, there's good and evil in the world. And yes, some people want to cloak the world in darkness or bring it under their thumb. Kids know that. I think it's just adults of voting age who forget that.

While I do worry about my kids' souls, I don't think that Doctor Rodney Rathbone is particular dangerous, except if you step on him. That can turn you evil fast.



  1. Wonder what he'd think of playing "army." My brother had a huge army when we were kids. It filled the entire living room. All those nasty soldiers shooting guns and stuff. I loved it...

  2. knelt on a Lego yesterday. Just when you think they're all picked up, there's one that evades capture. You innocently kneel to get the library DVD out of the player and bam!

  3. I would much rather the old guy wearing the Hawaiian shirt and still living in a Neverland Where It Is Forever 1968 would play Legos during Mass instead of the guitar.

  4. Bahhh...he needs to see the Lego movie...or come to my house and visit the Lego lab in the basement...I'd rather step on a lego than bring a Bratz vampire doll into my house.

  5. Yes, they are everywhere! They usually end up in the folgers coffee containers. We stopped buying the surprise "mystery character". I'm now more closely monitoring. Some are so over the top and are well beyond inappropriate for kids. The slug headed, half human thing was disgusting! Yuk! That thing went right in the trash!
    The day they produce the children's special edition "euthanasia healthcare" set, they will be finished for sure at our house. Those little handcuffs from another set may just come in handy.

  6. My reaction: "What..? WHAT?!" *resorts to google* "Oh..."
    yeah, I get Lance and good ol Neil mixed up sometimes. I thought you were punking me, a byciclist on the moon....!


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